No once upon a time ...

there is no beginning

no once upon a time

I’m awake in my subconscious

but asleep in real time

I feel as it if is me

my body and thoughts are familiar

but I’m in a different story now

this is my reality

I know nothing of before

and now without a moments notice

I’m on trial for murder

100 faces look at me with disgust

“I didn’t do this - this isn’t me”

I have no recollection

nothing to prove I’m innocent

but why do I feel guilty?

why do I feel shame?

the jury holds their heads down

afraid to meet my eye

this can’t be real

this can be real

what has my life become?

“we find the defendant GUILTY”

I scream myself into reality

But I wake up on a bus

I see him, it’s Jade

the man of my desires

he’s in front of me

but might as well be a million miles away

I see someone with a gun

I fight him and the gun drops

Jade picks it up and shoots me

and as I’m dying

I wake up

eyes opening to darkness

shuddering at what this could mean.