Nineteen

Oh, that feeling of belonging to nothing!

No where to live, no one to love.

I was just being swept away in the current,

Nothing was too important at that time.

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There were no burdens upon me,

And all my days would blur together.

Hazy days, I was higher than my “ambitions,”

Drifting down a meaningless path.

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Swapping jobs or losing jobs,

Nothing really mattered to me.

Losing friends or losing lovers,

Nothing really mattered to me.

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I was not good for this, I’m sorry,

To those who I used on lonely nights.

You all tasted like my home,

And I was desperate for that feeling.

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I felt lost in the drifting current,

But looking back, I think it’s beautiful,

To not belong to anything,

To just become swept along,

And to trust the ride.

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Why did I trust the ride?