New Addict

Nothing can save me from my own mind.

A certain fix that I need, I cannot find.

This need for a sleepless night seems unreasonable and dumb,

Drugs steal my brain, and make my body numb.

Life is so much easier when you don’t give a shit,

And if you begin to care again, you need to find a hit.

Savings accounts and debit cards are empty without pay,

Friends shun you, "fucking addict", no matter what you say.

Parents and relatives do not understand why,

And they never will, no matter how hard they try.

No one can help me now; they don’t know how,

And they probably never will, not ever, not now.

When I die and all of you bury me,

Remember me as the innocent girl I used to be.

-Written at the beginning of my addiction, 2002