My Reality

I am sick and tired

Of being sick and tired

Mentally, physically this illness is killing me, not literally but it’s sucking the life from inside of me.

A battle each day with m y brain I fight

I use all my energy it takes all my might

Keeps me up at night

Either epilepsy or anxiety, lets face it their there best of friends.

Along with depression, isolation

Sadness and desperation. The list could go on like a messed up guest list who’ve hijacked my brain for an illegal rave and I’ve had to go along.

Unwillingly but helplessly because where am I to hide?

But that’s what it is, hidden in plain sight

An affliction that no one can see,

Constantly questioning

Do they believe me?

Maybe if they lived my reality they would see what it is like for me

But how can they? They can’t

Sometimes I want to scream and shout

HELP ME!

UNDERSTAND!

YOU NEVER WILL!

Out of frustration not hate

It’s hard to communicate this terrible fate.

Down the rabbit hole

As mad as a hatter

Or maybe like Alice

Wondering what matters

Late and confused

Forgetful and tired

People think you’re rude, ignorant or wired

Not understanding how my brain likes to work, sometimes it likes to go berserk in a world of it’s own.

Walking around all my days in a daze

My weeks and my months are nothing but a blur wondering when it will occur. Not coming or going but always not know, not knowing not knowing will there ever be a cure?