My Name is Paul...
Rap Slam Poetry (Em Starr's fault.)
Author's Note: This is Em Starr's fault, as evidenced in the comment section of a recent poem I published called Do You Ever? So all the blame should be delivered to her. Also, if you get a chance check out any one of her fantastic little horror stories, and there is a truly stunning poem among the selection too.
*
My name is Paul
You can call me
...
Paul
My rhymes are beastly, tough and rough
Like my back, sack and crack in the buff
I take down opponents like I'm The Greatest Ali
With surrealist imagery like Salvador Dali
I'm not a criminal, though I hustle quite a bit
I'm not a peddler, though I love a caffeine hit
I'm not a pugilist, though I fight with my wit
I'm not a gangster, though I don't give a ----
I'm the P to the a u l,
Haters would do real well,
To avoid stepping to me,
You see. Imma have yee
on your Mother Hubbard knees
with the kilt-faffing, caber toss type flow,
all you will know, I'm the realest fo' sho'.
Not brown enough
Not white enough
Weird off-white tan man
That's who I am,
damn
Pasta, macaroni, pizza, itsa me-a,
Here comes an off-kilter-style jolt
Outdated callback, Geocities, Alta Vista
Running out of rhymes, faster than Bolt
My name is Paul
You can call me
...
The greatest worst
of them all!
*
Thanks for reading!
Remember to check out Em Starr's amazing work.
Also, here are some slightly more serious pieces by yours truly!
You can also check out the rest of my work here.
About the Creator
Paul Stewart
Award-Winning Writer, Poet, Scottish-Italian, Subversive.
The Accidental Poet - Poetry Collection out now!
Streams and Scratches in My Mind coming soon!
Reader insights
Outstanding
Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!
Top insights
Compelling and original writing
Creative use of language & vocab
Easy to read and follow
Well-structured & engaging content
Excellent storytelling
Original narrative & well developed characters
Expert insights and opinions
Arguments were carefully researched and presented
Eye opening
Niche topic & fresh perspectives
Masterful proofreading
Zero grammar & spelling mistakes
On-point and relevant
Writing reflected the title & theme
Heartfelt and relatable
The story invoked strong personal emotions
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Comments (41)
Hillarious!
It's a Different & Amazing Creative work... Well Done- Keep Going
You’ve got some sick rhymes! Congrats on the top story!
That’s a different side of you. I like it. Congratulations
Congrats!
congrats on the Top Story
Congratulations 🥰🥳😎This poem could be a Rap ! P to L 🫶🏽👏👏👏👏
I like it when you go all rap on us Paul. This has got to be my favorite piece by you. Superb!!
That was a hoot and a woot! Love it ♥️ You are a gangsta poet and that was awesome! Well done my friend! Congratulations on Top Story ♥️
Go Paul!! Loving this one P. Stewart! Please let me know when the album drops! 😁
Congratulations on Top Story Paul!
Many congrats, Paul 💘
Yay! Congrats on Top Story, Grandmaster MC, P to the a-u-l! See where all that rapping gets you? ❤️
Hey P to the aul!! This was so much fun and I can tell you enjoyed writing this poem! It was creative and full of so many great rhymes!!! Nicely done!! Also congratulations on Top Story!! You might have to blame this on Em too!! 🤣
Congratulations on yourTop Story 🎉 💖😉
This was a delight to read. Congrats on the top story!
This was just great! Loved it!
Love it, Paul! Congrats on TS
This was an awesome Top Story to read first thing this morning! I laughed, I marveled at your rhymes...such a fun read! Congrats! :D
Congratulations on Top Story! Loving the rap :)
😂 Way to put it all out there my friend. I can see you now, wearing a yellow jumpsuit, gold necklaces and a yellow headband that says “Salvador Ali” on it. Make sure I get VIP tickets. Congrats!
Haha. This is great. Love that ending. Congrats on the TS.
Yes! Congrats on Top Story, my friend! I love this one :)
Very surreal and intriguing 🧐 I enjoyed this! Keep up the introspective work it’s very good! Congratulations on your top story!
Oh my gosh! HAHAHA~ I LOVE this, Paul! Woah, what a fun piece! You are hilariously clever! You are a man of many writing talents, and I think you just found a new calling! Now lets hear you rap this out loud! YouTube? Rapping Paul! Congrats on such a freaking awesome top story!