My Deepest Darkness

Can't you see me here?

I'm completely broken and I have fallen to my knees.

Pleading for your mercy one last time.

Begging for your grace.

In my own disgrace, Reality comes to me and she helps me up off my knees, and I begin to run.

I'm running through the forest looking everywhere for you, but I still can't see your face.

I've been abandoned again by love I do believe.

The trees are calling out to me, and the wind has invited me to dance.

But alone I stand among them, paralyzed by circumstance.

The birds are chirping madly, coyote begin to howl.

I'm standing waiting for your direction in the darkest part of night.

The forest is the loudest at twilight.

I am standing still in my darkest darkness.

Hoping that Reality sends to me her guiding light

Begging that reality takes away this fright.

And once again she comes to me offering her hand.

And with her comes her daylight and it silences my demons.

But daylight fades to darkness and I hear them dance again.

I can hear the drummer beating on his drum,

And the wind sings my name.

I close my eyes and upon my knees I pray for peace.

Peace of mind, peace of soul, peace to quiet the unfriendlies.

And as I kneel before you, I beg for forgiveness.

Forgiveness from all the wrongs I have never righted.

The past I have yet to overcome, the errors of my ways.

The times I ran but should have stayed.

When my temper flared to your dismay.

Lessons learned - and I've learned them well.

Placed on a cloud in Heaven, but ending up in Holy Hell.

When the waves were rough and I was left to stand alone.

The tide had risen and I struggled, oh so, needing you.

Needing your strength to cover up my weakest shadows.

I needed your faith, your reassurance that our

Love was strong enough to bring us into tomorrow.

And yet he wanders.

Can't you see me here?

I'm on my knees left all alone.

Alone I carried out your duties, but not so pure of heart.

For with vengeance, I cursed the Captain who chose to walk the plank.

He who left his vessel unattended, his ship he did depart.

For only a weakened man would leave a woman to complete his tasks.

But I did this, I did this for you.

And now before you, in an altered state of mind.

I chose to free my soul from the chains that bind.

My duties are completed, and for this I made you proud.

Can't you see me here?

You can find me here upon my Captain's deck,

With my demons screaming loud.

I am waiting for him on my knees.

And in vain I wait but you never come.

Captain, oh Captain, why did you chose to run?

Forever more, was what you promised you even gave your word.

And upon my Captain's deck you find me.

On my knees my demons bind me.

Abandoned once again by love in My Darkest Darkness.