Not to be confused with a "dead name". I am not Transgender, but my birth name brings me pain and triggers me to hear it. So I called it "birth name" in this poem.
-=-
My birth name
was called out
in unwanted moments
when I wanted to be
anywhere but there.
When love ones were
strangers and too
close to me all at
the same time
and when life was
most unfair.
-=-
My birth name
was an albatross
around my neck,
between my thighs,
collars and gloves,
choking and invading
all I was inside and
chasing me into corners
where I couldn't hide.
-=-
My birth name assaulted
my ears daily for 60 years
of worse than bad,
until one day I put my
foot down on the neck of
the moniker
I wish I had never had.
-=-
My birth name is sticky
My birth name is sweaty
My birth name is
fingernails
around my throat
My birth name is living
in the summer months
in a heavy winter coat.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Thanks for reading! -Sam
About the Creator
ᔕᗩᗰ ᕼᗩᖇTY
Sam Harty is a poet of raw truth and quiet rebellion. Author of Lost Love Volumes I & II and The Lost Little Series, her work confronts heartbreak, trauma, and survival with fierce honesty and lyrical depth. Where to find me
Where's the Glory?
In breaking news, rehabilitated Republican Senator Johnnie Johnson (Pronouns: HE, HIM, HIS) called a press conference from the Men’s room of the New Orleans Louis Armstrong International Airport, Concourse B, across from the Ignatius Reilly’s Lucky Dog stand. The Senator had just returned from a sexual reorientation rehabilitation program in Memphis, TN after being publically disgraced at a Buckee’s Truckstop restroom soliciting sex from an undercover cop three months ago. He is a founding member of the Reformed Christians for Christ, a conservative, pro-family and ex-gay advocacy group. In the spirit of being reborn, Senator Johnson invited reporters to marvel at his plans for a major remodeling of airport bathrooms.
By Cathy Schieffelin7 days ago in Humor
Comments (4)
I understand very well how triggers work with names. Interestingly enough, I've also discovered that there are ways to heal the triggers tied to names as well. It's an interesting process.
Sounds like you have come to grips with your name now Sam, as that is what you call yourself- correct? Nice sequential rhyming on your poem too.
Such a powerful and sad poem, Sam. I hope your birth name is not dragging you down anymore.
🫂