Music is My Life

Music is my life.

Music is the poetry of my soul.

You know what’s beautiful about it?

The noise. All of it. So much noise. So much happiness. So much laughter. How can you not go into a place like that, and not feel it? I feel freedom, happiness, love, joy, excitement, all at once. When I’m by myself, when I’m alone, I yearn for it. I long to be there. What is it about this place? What makes it so special?

Everything.

What is true beauty? The music? No, not just the music...the way it sinks deep down inside of you and makes you feel all mushy inside, but in a good way. That's what I want to talk about.

I’m probably the most self conscious person. I used to be so scared; scared of screwing up, giving up, sucking at anything I try. On a daily basis, I probably insult myself at least five times, if not more. But when I’m there, in my happy place behind a drum kit, when I feel the music, when I see so many wonderful people, I can’t help but feel the happiest I can ever be. Because when I’m there, nothing else matters. Not the world outside, not anything in my head.

Music is intimate, and you have to be brave to share that with people. My heart overflows with the most intense feelings when I’m playing. When I sing, or play piano, or drum, all the pain goes away. All of the years wasted, wishing I was dead; the times I cried myself to sleep at night wondering if there was ever any human being that could possibly understand the way I feel, wondering if there was ever a place for me where I felt like I belonged.

All of the pain, the blood, the scars of my past are gone, but the memory never fades. The memory of so many days spent in my room listening to hours and hours of music,

alone, alone, alone.

I was always so alone in my passion.

Always so afraid--

always thinking I’m not good enough or the world is better without me. But now I feel; my heart feels home. In this place where I share my passion, my heart, my love for music with other people. I never thought I could be so brave, so free, so strong, after all those years of struggle.

My happiness is the music...

the music inside me...

There is no greater love on this earth than

that of an artist's love for the things they can create

There is no greater passion, no greater happiness,

no greater life without music.

Music is my world.

I live, I breathe music.

It’s not just an interest.

It’s everything.

You feel it all over.

You feel it in your heart, you feel it tingling down your head to your neck, sending goosebumps down your arm instantly.

Music is the only true medicine for loneliness and depression.

Music is my cure.

Music is everything.

I can’t even imagine a world without it. Notes, sounds, melodies, race through my mind all the time. Songs make me cry and laugh and dance and sing. How could someone ever deny themselves the ability to feel that? Music ties it all together. It’s beauty, and truth, and love, and faith. Happiness, sadness, anger, confusion, peace.

A never ending beat, a melody echoing through my soul, a harmony that fills my heart...

Music has become my answer to everything, all my life. Drumming helped me work through a lot of trauma that I experienced in my past, and helped me get through my divorce. Singing gives me the greatest joy and happiness when I am making others smile and living in the moment. I feel blessed every day to be able to do that, because not everyone can.

I feel that my personal journey is not just about music, you see, but of strength, courage, resilience; my ability to be the best version of myself. Music gives me the courage I need to face a lot of life's challenges. More importantly, music has helped me to realize that I AM talented, and that I'm way too critical of myself sometimes. People can and will accept me for who I am: I can love myself for who I am despite my flaws. There is no place on Earth I would rather be than surrounded with that type of energy every single day, all the time; that’s how you know you can never live without it.

Music is the poetry of my soul.

Music is my life.