Mom...I ❤️ You

Mom...

I wish you would open your eyes and see

I’m right here in front of you

Look Mom...”It’s me! “

I don’t even know where to start,

I want you to know these words are coming straight from my ❤️

I can see right through the hour

as I look past the glass

so, here I go

Im gonna start an hour from your past.

i know as a little kid pop pop used to beat you

I am sorry for the agony you went through

leaving at the age of 16 with only two dollars in your pants

looking for a place of freedom

where you can sing

where you can dance

then some guy ruins that for you as he pointed a gun to your face

I know right then and there your heart started to race at a different pace

as you refuse to compensate on what he wanted to take place

I can’t even imagine on how you must’ve felt

somehow your cards must have been mistakenly missed dealt

then you meet what you thought was the love of your life

17 months later he had me by the slit of a knife

I was still in your Womb while you were down in the closet

I can still hear your tears pouring

out as I turned off the faucet

when he kicked you in the belly

I know I was born premature

as you had a dream running out the back door around the house

then you found your baby girl dead asleep and about

so cold and so stiff

only trting to make the extra money

by working the night shift

I remember you telling me about the premonition

you had about all of this

so from there on out you put up your first

and swung a blow to his kiss and left him two days later after you gave birth to Chris

Now with three kids on your back

you met Rodney they took all of your stress and helper you to relax

he took us in with no fear in his eyes

I can remember all the times he whipped us and made us cry

I’m not gonna lie

he was always there by our side

as a kid I used to hate him

because I didn’t understand why or his Ways

I looked back from today and this is what I have to say

I grew up in a big house with one little brother that was like no other and four beautiful sisters and You mom

i always wanted to just hug you and kiss you

I looked up to you growing up as a kid

I knew you were a strong person

to put up with daddy’s drinking swearing and cursing

to be a mother of six kids in a hold of a house

now you can’t forget what all of that was about

I wish I can go back in time and rewind

let you know that everything is going to be fine

reality has hit the fan

As you find yourself with another man

I know Rodney will always be your heart so why not give yourself a fresh new start

mom...I cry every time the smoke fills your lungs

every time you put a pill on your tongue

I know I sound so hypocritical

with my words that are so very lyrical

I know I’m not a perfect person

yes... I do have my own dirt under my shoes

with all my swearing and cursing and all the drugs that make me feel oh so, right.

All the times you asked me to stay home but i partied throughout the night

I quit all of that because the devil was trying to blind me by the light

I wasn’t going to let them take me down without a fight

so out of mind

so out of sight

I’m starting out fresh now

trying to do was right

I know you worry about all the stuff that happened to you

but mom,

for me ...please give the universe another chance

to open your eyes and take you by the hand

to lead you back on the road away from all of that fire

trust me mom

I know you still have your wants

I know you still have your desires

so, the next time you put that pipe to your lips

I’m right here in front of you

I know you didn’t forget this poem

I wrote for you

I’m on your side

I can see you mom so stop trying to run

stop trying to hide

why did the easy way out

Face towards me and see what I’m all about

I’m not going to scream

I’m not going to shout

I’m just going to love you unconditionally without a doubt

you wanna know why

BEACAUSE YOU ARE MY MOMZ...

I heard you cries and I felt your tears

I’m always going to be with you

I know sometimes your soul is full of fear

and it’s hard to find joy and cheer in this fucked up world

remember this... I’m only one of your little baby girls

so please find the courage to flip the glass that’s past the hour

open your heart

let Nature strengthen your presence and your power

do you know that saying

every time you cry your cleansing out your soul

for all the lies that have been said and the truths that are untold

I know sometimes the night is dark and the air is very cold

but I am here mom

waiting for you to hold

waiting to catch your tears

before they hit the ice and they break in they shatter

but if they do it really doesn’t matter

I don’t care if people talk bad about you

being out to sea for so long

got me reminiscing about all the times you brought me fishing and all the times I had a problem

you were right there to listen

even if it was about a girl at the time I’d be kissing

all the mornings you used to cook us breakfast

then at night you left us to make extra money so we can go on vacation

now we’re going through all of this retaliation

feeling the different pulses that are running through this vibration

hear me lyrically

even though I am not there with you physically

I want you to know I’m always with you spiritually

I know you still have the mentality

to face reality

please mom...don’t give up on me

just remember you still have a lot to live for

one day I’m a come get you

not through the side or back

but through the front door with wide open arms

I’m going to take you by the hand

I wish you would open up your eyes and see

I’m right here in front of you

Look Mom... “Its me!”

Im sharing this poem with the world in hopes it gives another women out there, a mother, a sister, a daughter, an aunt, a grandmother, a compassionate care giving warrior who nutures and protects future generations to come. My mom may have been struck by many curses in her lifetime but her ability to turn those into blessings have been admiral In my eyes. I know we all go through tradgedy and fall in hardship while we walk on our path of life, but to have walked her path and still cope with the world today not giving up has saved my life, in ways you couldn’t imagine. When I was just two years old, days before Christmas, December 26 1986...my mom came home and found my little sister, Christina Arnaud, passed away in her crib. I remember this so vividly, this is my earliest childhood memories I have as a child. Being able to speak on it I believe will help me cope. Just before my sister passed away from S.I.D.S she had just gotten her 4 month shots, and I believe her passing had something to do with it. I’m not going to go into details about that, maybe in a future article I write, but for now, I just wanna share a few moments about how I used my mother’s strength to help me to not give up on life. My mother would share her stories with me how her and my aunts were airforce brats and how they traveled around the world and many amazing people. My mother is half Filipino and half Irish, we were brought up more on the Filipino traditions and customs, which I am very grateful and appreciative for that. She showed how if we are rich in ❤️ We can never be poor. When it comes to family and friends even strangers, my mom has never turned her back to anyone that needed help. She is now in her mid 50s and She draws and she plays the drums and lives a life of inspiration. I witnessed her lose her way at a time in her life and she grieved so hard cause she lost so many loved ones that were close to her, and I thought she was gonna give up or end up hurting herself, but i prayed and I prayed in hopes she would find her way and fight her way out of the battle of hell she was stuck in and she did. She was able to find happines, peace and love again. That Women has inspired me to Inspire other Women.

✨Mom...now that you have opened your eyes and saw me. I’m right by your side, No worries Mom...we’re free ✨