modern Medusa

i long for togetherness, feel alone in community of my peers.

and can't find no solitude, not even with no other soul not in sight,

but choosing nothing is not an option even if everything else is gone.

and i, unescorted, am unable to invite you to enter my house of Truth

and i would turn to stone anyone who dares to see what is in my sanctum-

a modern Medusa- i want to feel close to another, regain connection,

but arm's length, as far as i can throw you away, is as close as i dare to go-

because you hurt me; i hurt you; we hurt ourselves; we hurt anything close.

because hurt people hurt people, i hurt people and i am hurt by people.

the fear of rejection has created an aspect for which to be rejected with-

my deepest fears embodied in a living, double-spoken defiance of myself.

realigned against my consent; my deepest desired, i will deny me peace-

please, my baffling solitude, in an over-crowded room just elude my grasp.

burn the coffin in which i lay night and day but can't fall asleep or just die.

thwart me unprotection when i won't seek asylum from my spiritual war.

foil my shelter and refuge from my rain cloud under an open umbrella.

who dares be unbothered, un-electrified by my thunder and lightning?

sabotage my insurrection; re-establish the rule of law; usurp my anarchy.

i beg you- anyone, long as it's nobody- don't let me be so true to myself.

riddle me why you will not deny me this broken heart in my chest.