Meeting Myself in the Mirror

While heading out on the freeway guiding me

to my destination of my own reinvention,

I’ve anticipated to seal the next steps of the journey ahead

facing the hardening of my own decision,

being only the second time feeling this power,

while doing something that was once an impossible feet for me personally

The fear overtook me to an incredibly disproportionate degree.

Now I’m taking myself to the destinations that I needed to hit

and saving the most important one

and potentially one that’s going to change my direction in life

to a suddenly brighter degree than what it looked like yesterday.

I suddenly got to meet myself in the mirror, the other half of me that’s been laying dormant but so badly wanted out somehow.

The same part of me that was bold enough to take my first trip back to the bay area for

the first time, enjoying it to an incredibly overwhelming degree

saddened by the fact that it had to end so soon, but leaving me craving for more.

That was fairly recent, only two weekends ago, now I’m at the front door to the office

stepping through deciding this time is it. There is no going back.

My mind immediately pictured the laundry list of benefits that I can think of within a second of the moment I graduate as “valedictorian”

delivering a heartfelt speech I’d write

as the world witnesses one of my greatest

triumphs, but only being the very beginning to my story.

My mind pictured the necessary work needed to get to that end goal,

but preparing to enjoy the journey ahead just as much as I would enjoy getting my new degree.

I met myself in the mirror for what felt like a deeper level

than how it was during the first time.

It might seem like a ton of things to look after, but it isn’t impossible.

Through god’s grace, deep within my heart I know I can do it

and I will come out on the other side a better man for it, unscathed from my challenges that seemed

so insurmountable like climbing the Golden Gate bridge.

It’ll look like nothing ever happened, at the same time, it will feel like

I’ve gotten a complete upgrade from my older circumstances.

My ambitions are the coal to my fire, the sun to my plants,

the gas to my car.

That novel I’ve wanted to write will be written,

all of my projects will get done,

that goal to move out again after failing in the last attempt,

this time will be an incredible success.

I will balance it all somehow, I just can’t dwell on “the how” forever.

That’s what kinda stopped me in the beginning

otherwise I would’ve been a lot further

in my journey for a better life, having made different choices.

One thing I’ve learned in recent times,

it’s never too late to undo your mistakes

by changing the game and taking a different path than where you’ve been

if it’s all for the better in the chapters ahead.