matter

I don't get it, I don't get me and I don't get you.

There is no me and there is no you, but I can reach out my hand and touch me, I can reach out my hand and touch you. I can reach out my mind and innerstand me, I can reach out my mind and overstand you. I can reach out my heart and love me, I can reach out my heart and love you

But in the end for either me or you, we're told it doesnt matter? Or it mattered but now it doesn't? Or it'll always matter even till the end? I dont know. I think the pain comes from the feeling of being left behind, being left behind here. I'm not alone but sometimes it felt so loney, and I don't want to come but I don't want to be left here and I don't want to remember but I don't want to forget. So for the ones that are left behind, what now. How are we supposed to feel, and keep going when all we do is stay put with the memories we hate but love so much.

I imagine I could look in any direction and see everything that is happening in that very direction around the whole world till it got back to me, in a split second i woud be the observer and listener of different countires, cultures, religons, pains, joys, births, deaths all occuring at once in that same direction. I would see misery, I would hear love, I would touch choas, I would lay beside stillness.

I'd shut my eyes so tight in hope that they'll never open again. I'd feel overwhelmed with pulsing emotions I'd feel so overwhelmed that i'll forget how to breath and everything will feel like it's fading around me, and honestly it'll be because I know I can't do anything about the bad parts of that direction but do they even matter and yet that's the part most of us choose to focus on, and because if there was so much bad in that one single direction, if I turn my head ever so slightly to the next direction and then the next and the next... but does that even matter and yet that's the part most of us choose to focus on.

But again, i'm reminded that it doesn't matter. That it did matter, That it does matter, we do we don't matter. Matter doesn't even matter. Mind over matter. But it does matter... doesn't it?