Love With Nowhere to Go

I need you to remember

When I watched you looking

Out the window

The tepid sunlight showcasing

the pattern created

With each hair of yours standing

like a line of soldiers /

I salute /

Your proud stance

Each perfectly melodic word whispered in my ear

like gripping vice grips /

Loosely my fingers lightly tracing yours

And mine and yours again /

I brought you here knowing I could never

let you go

Or grow old

So you left me instead to twist /

Turn words already spiraling

Into cleavers and claws

that etch

hieroglyphs into a heart

of rose quartz /

Throwing my head back to look

for you in the sky stars:

Draco, Pegasus /

Tasting the salt of mixed sweat

floating in a blessed room /

Falling to my knees to bury

my flesh in fresh velveteen earth /

Angels in black and white

Dreaming

in I Love Lucy or scents of old

pages in a hard-bound Reader’s Digest

So that I can dance or read with you

just once /

Warp the metal gate, pretend you escaped

and I can bring you home

Or erase your time trapped

in tiny rooms

Suffocating underwater

Your tongue parched by brine/

Chemicals turning your insides to goo

Even before you knew

But you knew things were off

Didn’t you?

And you came back anyway

Knowing you couldn’t stay

again this time/

You grasp each of my fingers with your own

just to say hello

And hold my hand when I need you most /

But then it’s so hard to

say goodbye as the shades of grey

turn to white /

I open my eyes

my heart pounds so loudly

like my cries and your howls entwined

Piercing my eardrums /

I hold your own tears in my hands

Cotton soft and chalky

So I tuck them away

To guard the passage of time