Love's Demise

We're born into a loveless world, a world in which we just want to be held.

Yet here we find ourselves alone, craving the one thing this world does not own.

Love.

Always we are searching for it, working for it, begging for it.

Love.

It's so rare that we just take it in any way we can get it; sex, drugs, violence, abuse...

We tell ourselves it does not matter, that these things don't destroy our souls or tear our guarded hearts in two.

Just as long as we have people who are supposed to love us, we will break ourselves beyond repair.

Then, as we slip from innocent children into the garments of suspicious, scheming & supposedly wiser adults, we come to realise... those people who are supposed to love you? They don't.

& you find yourself asking why?

Why do they not love me?

What did I do?

I gave my all yet still I find myself alone.

Love is a game of make believe.

It's just pretend, an endless act until we get so good at it, that we believe our own demising lies.

But love has left us.

We ask ourselves where it's gone not wanting to admit the truth; that it's lost & we can't bring it back.

Funny isn't it, how much you don't miss something until it's gone.

So where does that leave us, we poor lost souls; who drift & sink as we try to stay afloat hoping that love will find us & pull us back to safety.

Now there's the funniest irony of all because what we crave, we drove away.

It's our own fault.

We replaced it.

Traded it in for useless junk; egoism, pride, greed & power.

Yet still there are those who cling to the ideal, the dream of one day knowing love.

But how can we yearn for what we do not know.

Today's love is a parody, a mere shadow of what it was meant to be.

Even so, the dreamers dream. Who knows, maybe they will be the ones to bring love back, those who rediscover what it really means to be human...

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The End

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“It is not from the benevolence of the butcher, the brewer, or the baker that we expect our dinner, but from their regard to their own interest. We address ourselves not to their humanity but to their self-love and never talk to them of our own necessities but of their advantages.”

The above quote was written by a man named Adam Smith and published in "The Wealth of Nations" in 1776. Smith postulated under the belief that humans are inherently selfish and that this selfishness ensures the general wellbeing of society. Perhaps that was the case back in 1776, but these days, I feel like Charles Darwin's theory of natural selection - or "survival of the fittest" - is more accurate.

Gone is the sentiment of loving our fellow man, or so it seems. No longer do we follow the "love thy neighbour as thyself" philosophy that the Bible teaches us. Instead, I am finding more and more as I get older that most people are just in it for themselves. Even the popular TV show Friends made an episode dealing with the concept of altruism. Friends may be a light comedy show, but they actually do tackle some serious issues every now and then, like they do in the season five episode, "The One Where Phoebe Hates PBS."

In this episode, we see Joey and Phoebe having a debate on whether there is such thing as a selfless good deed. Joey argues that there is not, because the person doing the good deed always expects something in return - even if that is simply a good feeling on the inside, happy that they were able to something helpful. Phoebe, on the other hand, is adamant that there is and sets about trying to prove it. She never does, though. It's a sobering thought to think altruism doesn't really exist. However, while true altruism may be hard to achieve, I don't think that should detract from our efforts to perform good deeds. Feeling pleased with ourselves after doing something helpful is not a bad thing, as long as it doesn't become hedonistic. Carrying out a good deed for the sole purpose of feeling good is doing no one any favours except yourself. Working hard towards your own intentions and goals is, of course, encouraged, and is a totally fine and healthy thing to do, as long as it does not decimate or ignore the wellbeing of others.

Food For Thought...

What do you think? Do you believe true altruism exists? Do you believe there is such a thing as a selfless good deed?

When I was a kid, I used to roll my eyes at the cynicism of adults. Now, I totally get it. Being an adult sucks. And if you suck at being an adult, well then it just sucks even more! Adulthood comes with all these expectations and if you don't manage to keep up with the Jones', then you are dubbed a failure and get left behind to drown in ever deepening ocean of "shoulds." It truly is as Darwin said, survival of the fittest. Sometimes, we see a mass effort on good deeds, like when there is a natural disaster or something. I saw it here in Australia during the Black Summer fires. Never had the volunteer Rural Fire Service received so many donations, and the way people reached out to those who had lost everything was truly inspiring. I just wish it didn't take a catastrophe to bring out the best in people.

There are, of course, those few beautiful souls who do good deeds readily and easily; and the odd thing is, those people are often struggling in some way themselves. These are the people who know how it feels to be helpless, to feel like the world is against them, and they don't want others to feel that way. So they do what they can to make a difference in the lives of others while those at the top of the food chain sit back and indulge their own whims and fancies. Like, is it really THAT difficult to use your lofty position to do some good in this world?

Perhaps the attitude of "every man for themselves" came about during the Great Depression, when people could barely help themselves let alone anyone else. Or maybe that attitude has always been there. I don't know. Maybe I am just a grumpy, mid 30s cynic. But as someone who struggles with several mental health issues, support and kindness and understanding are all extremely difficult to find. I get it that everyone has their own battles to fight. I just wonder why our battles separate us rather than unite us. It's because of these common struggles that we should always endeavor to be kind because we never know what someone is going through.

As a bit of a conspiracy theorist, I often wonder if this segregation is orchestrated by our governments - a carefully laid strategy to keep us consumed in our own struggles to prevent us coming together and rising up against them. I don't know. I'm merely postulating.

Anyway, I could ramble about this topic for ages, but my main point is this... We're all struggling in some way, so let's help each other, let's lift each other up; let's just LOVE each other and be KIND. Kindness begets kindness. Help that old lady with her shopping. Cook a meal for that family on your street that you know is struggling financially. Donate your old clothes. Pay it forward. Babysit for a harried mother who clearly could do with a break. There's opportunities to show love and kindness everywhere. You don't even have to look very hard to find them, and your efforts will make the world a better place.

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Thank you so much for reading my ramblings and postulations on love and kindness. If you enjoyed this write, I encourage you to show your support by subscribing, clicking/tapping that little heart over there, or, if your feeling especially generous, by leaving a tip :) Any and all support is greatly appreciated!

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Chan xx