Love Over Flags

Mud Magazine is an online publication

Love over Flags

You caught my attention for unknown reasons. Maybe the drunken attraction should have stayed merely at that, but there was a pull that kept drawing me in.

The natural chemistry replaced the awkward silences in our conversations. The comfort of your presence surpassed the fact that we never had conversation.

We stumbled quite often. That’s just relationships, though.

We built a bond of some sort. Maybe so many new things and changes is what pushed me into you; what kept me glued to you.

You preferred a natural face. You’d quickly anger at the sight of make up on my face, and moreso when it was accompanied by a black mini skirt and my favorite “night at a club” top. I won’t get into your frustration with high heels.

Some moments with you were so sweet that I would forget you made no point in climbing a few flights of stairs to come see in the past few days.

The love you said you had for me trumped the hatred you had for my friends.

The way we would spend a whole day watching movies snuggled up distracted me from the memories I wasn’t creating with my friends.

Games were your favorite. You had a knack for video games and sports, but I think your favorite was mind games. I was always so confused.

But those little sweet moments, small lapses in time where I felt more important to you than anything...

Should not have left me in a trap of a constant hurting heart, a mindset where I questioned myself and who I was and what I said and what I wore.

Should not have kept me paired with you.

Should not have taken away so many memories with friends or bonds I held with other people.

Should not have made me feel so inferior to your feelings that I ignored all of my own. How many red flags did I blatantly ignore for what I thought was love?

Love should be pure and giving, admirable and well- spirited.

Love should be strength, equal, ever- trusting and fair.

Love is not what you gave me. All I am left with is the strength to love myself more than all the red flags you left me with.

Check out the story here: https://issuu.com/themudmag/docs/mud_magazine_-_february_2019/s/67021

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Find the author (me!) on social media! Instagram @anamesa_anne

“Love Over Flags” is part of a story series all about love- what it has been for me, what I wish it could have been, and what I have learned from it.

Mud Magazine: February Issue