Love Me or Leave Me

Part of me wants to scream at you,

“Love me or leave me”

But another part of me is scrambling

On the floor, desperate for the

Scraps of love that fall off your table,

Like a kicked dog, starved for attention,

Starved for affection and security.

You’re a good man and I’m not sure

That I’ve ever fallen for a good man before

So I’m terrified to lose you,

Terrified to lose your goodness

And I’ll follow you where you go,

Seeking shade in your shadow,

Seeking comfort in your embrace

And finding worth in the shreds of love

You give to me.

-

Part of me wants to shake you,

Sobbing, “love me or leave me”

But I’m scared that you’d walk away

If I made you choose between me or…

Anything else.

My self-worth is below sea level

And I’m drowning in my tears,

Clinging to anything that’ll keep me afloat

And I’m clinging to your shirt,

Praying you won’t shake me off,

Praying you’ll take me to bed instead

And hold me till the morning

So I can sleep peacefully for a night.

-

Part of me wants to whisper,

“Love me or leave me” as we lay together

Pillow talking, out of breath,

And shimmering in sweat,

But I don’t want to see

The look in your eye or hear your voice

When you tell me all the reasons

You can’t love me quite yet,

So I stay and I curl up against you,

Taking your warmth and comfort.

While I listen to you breathe and I memorize

The rise and fall of your chest,

As you sleep, your arm thrown over me,

And I love you, enough for both of us,

Praying that it’ll always be enough

For me.