Lost to gain

I know nothing about my biologically mother, I hope she had red hair and fair skin like I see in my dreams and imagination. I hope she loved to read like I do, I hope she wrote incredible stories, I hope she had a gentle voice, I hope she loved to dance and did it gracefully like I do. My coach says “you are a natural.”

I would have loved to have her around, something about being with someone whose existence led to yours seems fascinating and beautiful or so I hope. I rarely have to miss her though coz the universe blessed me with another mother. When God created angels, he must have sent some here so we would have a taste of heaven. My mother is one of them.

I know love because I have seen her love in the purest way. How do you subject yourself to the rocky path of parenthood to a child that is not your flesh, work hard to give her the best, knock doors to open for her, nurture her patiently and deal with her rebellion years when you didn’t have to? I cannot count how many times she was called to school for indiscipline, how many sleepless nights she had to spend with me in the hospital, the bills she paid or even the quality time we spent together.

I thought she thought too highly of me. She knew my worth, I didn’t. I thought because of my health condition, I didn’t really need to do too much in life “I might not make it that long anyway.” she changed that. She would say, “I didn’t choose to be your mother for a short time. I see you conquering this, I see you on planes to your favorite destinations, I see you making things happen, I see you applying my teachings in life, and I see you bringing my grandchildren on holidays.” I hope I get to live that long so her grandchildren can know what beauty really is.