Lost in London

Sometimes waking up to a gigantic cloud in the shade of dark gray is a given but it’s constant war between my two outlooks on life

One that sees the sunlight cracking through the clouds while they’re present and the other that dwells too much on the

presence of that dark cloud alone

Stubborn to the reality that things aren’t as bad as they look and ruled by the fear of how much worse things can get

Hoping there’s no need to find out the extent of getting a response from

the divine universe above that created the stars in the night sky

Pondering my repeated train of thoughts but never getting a clear answer as to how I could open the door to another world,

departed from how my life as a broke young adult to now someone who can stand on his own two feet

To be the lender and not the borrower ever again

To taste success at long last.

Sometimes when there’s too much noise running around inside,

so distracting

the household I currently occupy, I picture myself elsewhere

“What if I had taken the right steps towards a new career sooner??”

“Where could I be right now? Using my time??”

The loud ding ding from the clock tower overlooking the beautiful pond of

almost futuristic skyscrapers forming around the calm lakes running through the heart of the greater downtown area

where life is forever in motion

The bustling of the local Brits in and out of pedestrian traffic,

living their normal

lives just as anybody would, but my brain takes it all in as “the new”

The cherry red double decker buses intertwining with

other colors passing in a flash

I can so easily picture being in London during the picturesque sunny days

but when I’m feeling down, I just imagine taking a calming walk with my umbrella while it’s pouring outside and having an earbud in,

pumping a mellow pop song

Slower paced and introspective to my dilemma

I can almost paint a picture, but the strange thing is I’m never really there

Part of me can sense what it’s like in London during the rainfall

Especially feeling down on my luck because...

bad days will happen whether I’m here at home or over there in London, even when embarking in a new life

I’m slowly realizing that bad days are trees with low hanging fruit,

they can be a blessing in some way shape or form

But most people don’t see it that way.

Focusing on the “bad” and the “horrible.”

I’m guilty to the ends of the earth and back of doing the same thing

Guilty to London and back, wanting to escape my current situation when there is a notion worthy to picture it.

Low hanging fruits to enjoy from it when it comes to the bigger picture

My train to board and take to my next chapter is coming,

but maybe I could stop living life in a hazy rush and being in a hurry

London will be waiting for me.