Lost
in the Bottle
This smooth glass bottle
And the clear contents it contains
Are a vital, yet temporary balm to my soul
This comfort will eventually turn into a toxic cancer
That will destroy me and everything I love
And cherish
I know this, I know this, I know this,
But I cannot stop
My need for temporary oblivion
And numbness overrides
My need for survival
It overrides my need to be loved.
This 750ml bottle of vodka
Feels so good in my hand
But it is nothing more than a pistol
That will shoot holes in my soul
It will make me mean
It will make me hurt people
I profess to love
It will make the people I love leave me
But I don’t care
I don’t want to feel their love
When I can feel the transient warmth this bottle provides
I don’t want to feel my inability to love
I am hollow
I am empty
I just want to get lost
In the clear waters of nothingness
Nothing matters to me but the nothingness
I will destroy and wreck my life and
Crush others around me
I want to get lost …
I must get lost in the void of non-existence
That only this bottle can provide
It’s going to kill me. I know.
And I don't care.
I don't even care that I don't care.
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About the Creator
Julie O'Hara - Author, Poet and Spiritual Warrior
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