God cannot look at me today.
I have sinned, so I must offer a sacrifice to absolve myself.
Then he will be able to look at me again.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
God cannot look at me today.
I have touched an unclean animal, so I must stay outside my town until enough time has passed.
This is how it has been since the time of Moses. This is how it will be until the Messiah comes.
======================
God cannot look at me today.
I have taken on the sins of my people, and I must die before he will be able to look at me again.
The weight of it all is so great that the whips, though painful, seem gentle in comparison to the pain inside my heart.
-----------------------------
God can look at me today.
For the first time in a long time, God can look at me.
I’m so happy.
~::~
I do not care if God can look at me today.
If anything, God should be begging me to look at him.
He should not have asked so much.
About the Creator
Ruza Aldin
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Day 4 of Quitting
If this is how sobriety feels, maybe it’s better to go through life a little buzzed… this, along with other hits like, I want to kill myself, I wish I was dead, and I’m going to throw myself off a bridge have been the only thoughts on rotation these past few days. I promise myself that if, in a month, I still feel like this (‘this’ meaning despondent, full of rage, and simultaneously numb) I can go back to smoking. Until mid-February though? Nicotine is off the table.
By sleepy drafts5 days ago in Longevity
Comments (2)
That last stanza 🤌 ough
Gosh this stabbed my heart so many times! So well done!