Living on the edge

The edge,

You ever feel like you’re living on the edge? The red bubbling anger fills up inside me and starts to rumble. Why do I deserve this? Why do I feel the need to constantly push the people in my life who simply DONT want to be there? Mom, I’m sorry but your a peice of shit for not texting me and asking me how I am throughout the years we missed, my situationship- How dare you make me suffer day in day out without you knowing how badly your stringing me along. I feel as if I’m on a leash and you’re dragging me on the concrete like some old disheveled bike you don’t want anymore. What is this life? I don’t want to be in pain anymore? What is this? I constantly find myself lying in acid, yet to scared to move away from it. So it drives me to the people that don’t apparently want to be in my life?

Friends?

Friends come and go like the waves in the ocean but once the storm hits they run as if it’s a wildfire spreading….. And once it’s over the cycle happens again. You never truly know your friends until shit hits the fan.

It’s only in those rare moments at night when I feel at ease, I feel as if I can breathe. yesterdays worries will become tomorrows, and todays worries will slowly fade out as I light my candle in peace, and turn off my lights.

Laying in the darkness, my thoughts are shot. I feel this dead feeling inside but it comes with the calmness. My candle flickers, my tv screen changes scenes,I feel as if here I’m at peace. Only it doesn’t last that long until my eyes shut and I awake into the next days problems.