Live in the Fire

I want to write something about healing

Something special that people can read and just run with

Something that will inspire us all, including myself, to heal

to seek help

to guide yourselves in the ways that we should...

But aren't we tired of that?

Aren't we tired of hearing and reading

and seeing the same old BS everyday,

everywhere,

all over the place?

We get it, or got it, from our parents growing up, or even now if you still speak to them.

We see it all over social media contradicting itself...

Some say to go out, get drunk, etc.

While others say that we heal in our own ways and

all we need is ourselves...

to meditate,

do yoga,

find our tribe,

blah

blah

blah...

But the evolution is inside of you...

Isn't it?

You see,

I used to think healing was one way,

very particular,

a very straight line,

until one day, I realized that I am not even a straight person so how can I contradict myself??

I went through breakups and heartbreaks that made no sense,

and still don't,

but I have realized some of the most important things and here they are:

Dive...

Nose dive...

Straight into the freezing cold water...

do it

just go for it, why not?

No one knows you better than yourself.

And if the water freezes over you, you will not drown

you will be okay

trust the process.

Stick your hand in the fire...

do it

burn your whole arm,

because one day you will realize that you didn't take that shot

that once in a lifetime opportunity,

whether it was a person you were too cowardly to talk too, apologize too, kiss, love, etc.,

or whether it was a job,

a move,

you will regret it...

So go ahead and just hurt yourself now

over and over again.

It sounds rather harsh, I know, but life if harsh my friends,

and so many of us live in this life consumed by fear,

and it's holding y'all back.

It is so pathetic to see so many people struck by fear of life

instead of just living their lives fearlessly.

It is like we allow people, social media, and the minds of others, who are by the way, trapped in their own minds, to dictate and represent who we are!

Since when was that okay?

When was that a thing?

When did we all of a sudden wake up and say that this is the social rule,

the social norm...

I have been an outcast my whole life,

living for myself ,

looking around and wondering what the heck was going on.

I have social media but barely relate to anyone on it.

I have friends but do not see myself reflected in any of them.

I have family but do not speak to any of them.

This is the life I still choose every single day,

because I would rather wake up and see myself than wake up and see someone else that is not me...

someone I do not recognize.

So I apologize,

I choose to love, even when it is just me loving,

I stick my hand in the fire all the time.

I freeze my whole arm in the water,

just to know that I am alive

for a reason,

maybe for many reasons,

I fall in love over and over and over again

and I love it everytime!

I do not believe in soulmates,

how can I?

Every soul has a purpose.

Every soul can connect, if they allow themselves too...

and there it lies...

The purpose of life.

If...you...want...too...

Many of you do not...want too...

live

reflect

apologize

move on

leave

set your pride down

just for a second

put someone's feelings before your own,

unless it is out of obligation or normalcy for you.

I am reading two books right now...

One is called Attached by Amir Levine, M.D. and Rachel S. F. Heller, M.A. and the other one is called home coming by Thema Bryant, Ph.D, which was a gift to me by a friend who knows me somewhat better than I know myself...

Both are amazing reads and I highly recommend.

Attached is about the three attachment styles:

Secure, Anxious, and Avoidant

(Educate yourselves on your attachment styles, please, and be honest about it.)

home coming is about coming home to yourself...

self reflecting and being a better you, in all forms of the words.

As I go through life and all of its roller coaster ways, I feel that I am beginning to understand myself more, but with that, I lose many along the way...

some I have lost due to leaving, others I have lost due to them leaving,

either way, it is all a blessing.

It is all always a lesson in disguise.

We are meant to cross paths, you and I. You and her. You and him.

Everything is set up that way.

Life is set up to lead us back to ourselves.

Ever wonder why so many of us feel lonely?

Depressed when we are by ourselves?

Some people hate the quiet!

Well, we do not like ourselves and the life we have created for ourselves.

So what are you going to do about it?

Sitting in the quiet with yourself is a beautiful thing.

If you cannot sit with yourself and enjoy your own company, why would anyone else want to enjoy you?

Peace within yourself will bring you to a whole new purpose and understanding.

You will not care so much about your looks,

others looks,

what you lack,

what others want from you,

what social media says...

You will, however,

want more alone time,

love your own space, time, and energy

and not want anyone with bad energy in your space and messing with your time,

you will be more in-tuned with your wants and needs,

and soon see people for who they really are,

which will hurt in the beginning (trust me), but after a while you will smile

or possibly laugh like I do now,

and think to yourself,

Boy, what did I put myself through?

It took me one relationship to wipe the fog from my eyes and see what I deserved...

It lasted about a month, 2 months total with this person,

but I realize that there are so many people like that...

Misery loves company,

but please know that there is nothing safe in the word CONFUSION

There is nothing to brag about, feel good about, feel safe in, nothing...

RUN from it

You will lose yourself in it and some never return to themselves...

and that is sad

It will break you, or rather shape you into a whole new version of yourself, if you allow it too,

that is the beautiful thing about heartbreak.

It is unpredictable,

timeless,

out of control,

freezing cold,

fiery hot,

and so much more...

But it is needed.

It is worth it.

It is life.

So fall in love over and over and over again.

And never stop.

Never stop.