Lifetime After Lifetime

Like a spectral being, I could see you

In my rearview mirror

Sitting behind the passenger seat and smoking

Your always present Marlboro Reds

And trusty flip top lighter that belonged to your Daddy

The red ember would flare when you dragged

In the fragrant smoke and then exhaled the wispy white tendrils

Out the open back window

Sending the smoke to the heavens along with your thoughts

You reminded me of a wise old shaman

Bundled up in your cardigan and turtleneck sweater

Your mind was always old, even when your body was that of a young man

You always smoked when you had to think things out

And drank

I knew you were trying to hide that you were

Ssipping on Jack Daniels in a Pepsi can.

I could smell it and I saw you lean over several times to refill it

I wasn’t worried about being pulled over

It was 1979, open containers were not illegal especially in a backseat

They were not considered taboo like today

You were totally silent, but I could see you meeting my eyes occasionally in the rearview mirror

A worried and questioning look on your face

You knew you were going to have to hurt her

And set her free

Because you couldn’t have both of us

And it was tearing you apart

But you knew your destiny

You knew our destiny

And you knew the risks

But we were not just an “us”

We were joined together by from time eternal

Living this scenario lifetime after lifetime

A fate beyond mere mortal love

Julie O’Hara 2024