Let things go

I really want to let things go

And learn to live in ebb and flow.

But as I try to reach the top,

I cannot help but create and stop.

I hype myself up through out the days,

Try to remind myself it’s just a phase,

But when the dreaded day of bills arrives

I begin to feel my panic arise.

What if I cannot get the money again?

And then I all but start to spin.

As if the number in my account,

Has some meaning of my amount.

I look left and right to find a way,

To create more dollars without delay.

Spread out to multiple sources,

In hope that it will stop this capital forces.

And well I try to tell myself to just breath

It will all be over if I could just leave.

My anxieties and panicking thoughts

Before my brain truly rots.