Leonarda, Leonarda

Leonarda, Leonarda

Maker of soaps and bloody cake

If the police had never caught you,

How many more lives would you take?

In the land of Avellino

Lived a lady with a curse.

It was placed there by her mother,

And these woes were just her first.

.

She did hard time in a prison,

Through an earthquake, lost her house.

But when moving to Corragio,

She at least still had her spouse.

.

With their children, great misfortune!

Three died in the lady’s womb.

And ten more poor little darlings

Went shortly afterward to the tomb.

.

Leonarda, Leonarda

Maker of soaps and bloody cake

If the police had never caught you,

How many more lives would you take?

And the curse, it didn’t end there.

More was written in her hands.

Be it madhouse or a prison,

Those would be her final lands.

.

When the war came, Giuseppe,

Leonarda’s pride and joy,

Decided he would be a soldier—

And she had to save her boy.

.

In her mind, his life was special:

Surely worth at least three more.

So she set her plan in action,

And with this, even fate’s score.

.

Leonarda, Leonarda

Maker of soaps and bloody cake

If the police had never caught you,

How many more lives would you take?

Victim 1 was named Faustina,

A lost soul who wanted love.

Instead, she met old Leonarda

And was sent to God above.

.

Victim 2 was named Francesca.

All she wanted was a job.

Leonarda said she found one,

Then her life, she cruelly robbed.

.

Victim 3 was named Virginia.

A new love, she wished to meet.

Instead, she became the next cake,

And was said to be “quite sweet.”

.

Leonarda, Leonarda

Maker of soaps and bloody cake

If the police had never caught you,

How many more lives would you take?

All three corpses were dissolved in

Caustic soda, then were used

To make soap and little tea cakes

Made of chocolate and dead ooze.

.

Leonarda served the corpse cakes

To her friends and to her son,

Who suspected next to nothing.

Had his safety she just won?

.

Not exactly, because someone—

The sister of victim three—

Grew suspicious and reported

Ms. Leonarda Cianchiulli.

.

Leonarda, Leonarda

Maker of soaps and bloody cake

If the police had never caught you,

How many more lives would you take?

At first, they thought Giuseppe,

Leonarda’s favorite son,

Was the culprit and she confessed

To absolve her precious one.

.

In the trial, she recounted

Every crime in full discourse

But what chilled the courtroom most of all

Was her lack of all remorse.

.

If she had it all to do again,

She would do so because she

Believed so fully in her mama’s curse

That these deaths were meant to be.

.

Leonarda, Leonarda

Maker of soaps and bloody cake

If the police never caught you,

How many more lives would you take?

Then the last part of the curse came.

For the next harsh thirty years,

Leonarda went to prison

Then in a madhouse, shed her last tears.

.

The asylum stint was three years,

One for each soul that she broke.

Then Leonarda’s brain bled out

In a hemorrhagic stroke.

.

Her gravesite was never listed

For reasons obvious to me.

The family probably feared desecration,

So this remains a mystery.

.

Leonarda, Leonarda

Maker of soaps and bloody cake

If the police never caught you,

How many more lives would you take?

Here’s the worst part, my dear reader.

This sordid poem is fully true.

It all took place in Reggio Emilia

In the days of World War II.

.

You can find Leonarda’s kettle

In a crime museum there.

And her tale’s been told in film, on Broadway, and in books

And my morbid little scare.

.

Here’s my warning to you, my dear friends.

Your nice neighbors might not be

Who you think they are behind closed doors.

So think twice before you join them for tea.

Leonarda, Leonarda

Maker of soaps and bloody cake

If the police never caught you,

How many more lives would you take?