Kaleidoscope Pride

When I realized this wasn't just a "phase", I was terrified of myself.

As a Queer woman, I was scared. I spent most of my life hidden in the shadows. I lived a life that way grey and full of guilt. Through my years of hiding my secret, I looked to those who embraced their kaleidoscope vision and felt joy and sadness. Joy for those who loved their individuality, and sadness for the part of myself I was too scared to share.

Upon deep introspection and reflecting on LGBTQIA2S+ history, I finally arrived at a point in my life where I no longer wanted to hide my true self. I wanted to be rid of this secret I thought made me dirty, but instead, I realized, this secret set me free. I became bright and confident and coloured with each glimmer of my own kaleidoscope. My history reminded me that I did not have to hide. My history inspired me as I thought of the determination and passion of my queer elders, and how they faced cruelties, violence, and an epidemic of hatred and illness. Despite their suffering, their community thrived. They looked after each other. Held each other. Bathed and dressed each other. Danced and sang and marched for those they have lost. Drew their names into fabric that could stretch for miles.

The beauty of this communty and Queer friendship had been waiting for me; sitting so peacefully at my doortstep, waiting for me to greet them.

I hope these words move you. I hope these words frighten and sadden you. I hope these words remind you of the history we must hold dear to us.

Thank you for reading.

Kaleidoscope Pride

For us, they created a world that was strictly painted in greys

Dull shades of platinum with no promise of a silver lining

Those who had the vision to see the world in black or white,

smudged the deep charcoal into our eyes

They darkened our skies and lined our stained glass ceilings with

nothing more than a freshly painted coat of ash

Cut the ties of friendship bracelets between Marsha and Sylvia

Stopped us from the peace of retirement but forced us into seclusion

Bound countless hospital beds with our bodies

Strapped our limbs with bombs of fear and disease

Taught us that sanctuary was a place of privilege,

rewarded to those who coloured within our lines

But through gritted teeth and wet cheeks, we flooded their shores

Poured our souls into oils paints and let them flow freely through each hillside

Gave voice to the silent through song and megaphone

Stitched each priceless life into a fabric of entangled memory

Draped the said cloth over the shoulders of those who weep for the elders they will never meet

Each textile drenched with endless exhaustion

A fight against a war that aims its rifles to those who find sweetness in a different pair of lips

Cast projectiles against us for the explosion of difference within our own bodies

For knowing we were born to stand within the kaleidoscope itself,

rather than seek the elusive pot of gold they force us to find

They taught us who are heaven sent that we are hell bound

Told our love stories at the unholy hour, and cloaked our history in corruption

For those of us who view love through the kaleidoscope,

fight ash and dusk to find our own silver linings.

f.a