Journal Entry

I hate when I get a lump in my throat;

To me that translate into the start of lost hope.

For me, that means I can’t stand to bear it;

Or maybe it means too scared to dare it.

I just realized that my dreams were impossible;

To wish the fear emotion to be erased was logical.

To have no fear means to have no doubt;

To have no doubt, suffering pain, without.

Anxiety, envy, pain and heartache;

All these feelings are what I can’t take.

Trying to plot and plan a solution to be free;

Go through life with that loving feeling carefree.

No tears put on displayed or anger to react;

Is it possible that I can accomplish that?

Unfortunate for me, my God says no.

He said if I grant you this, you’ll not think so.

That this life you inquire, dream and request;

Is a life that I know for your sake wouldn’t be best.

If I erase all negative feelings and emotions;

Then tell me child how could you hear when I’ve spoken.

How could you look to me in your time of despair;

Would you reach out to me, would you remember, would you care?

How can you learn and educate yourself with wisdom;

You wouldn’t be living a life worthy to earn my kingdom.

If you can’t show me, or exhibit a display;

Knowledge you learned; wisdom gained living life along the way.

Every single person He created in His own vision;

Is a person who has the will to make their own single decision.

If I allow everyone to enter through the gates of paradise;

It would contain murderers, and robbers, and then paradise couldn’t and wouldn’t be nice