ineluctability

there’s something louder than my breath in the dark

u r a phantom of the past things

a nightmare trigger

footsteps on the stairs

a violent gust of wind

shadows approaching the window

willing eyes open

i ridicule the gloom cause no one can banish the ghosts

such an ineffable malady

fear always seems ankle-deep

so i never land my foot on the ground

just laying still and helpless

there’s something louder than my breath in the dark

i caught myself murmuring

moonlight shivering in the water

concealing all the secrets unwillingly

fear always occupies wherever sights reach

every life is somehow veiled in secrecy and furtiveness

we may never belong to the bright

how sad how miserable yet how frustrated

i learnt to confront the demon

just forgive and then forget

one might as well, at any cost

irony paradox memory sensation

something that i wish i would never own

something i would never be willing to part with

something just happened

something the only viable explanation of myself

i begrudge you your innocence your happiness

you told me it's never about dark and bright

but i never request you to comprehend the metaphor

my intention

it is only about self

the vagrancy, the vacillation, the doubt

there’s something louder than my breath in the dark

the history marks all the soft spots

immobilise me under the shadow of depression

for me

all attempt can be a daunting prospect

i was never a bird in the cage but a cage myself

conflicted with the vulnerable yet bare bits

i'd distraught myself before every sorrow strikes

assailed by the endless shallowness

but what if i never conceal the anger

will my belief sways or holds unaltered

i crave answers

maybe dark is never dark

it just derives from the inherent nature of human

intangible, indefinite, abstract yet fierce