Incredibly invasive invisibility

dig deeper inside the box, the show, The Bear, has completely shot my nervous system with a barrage of garbled energy and fury, the emotional carnage of this crash keeps me feeling like I’m invisible

Like Carmy when he told his abuser exactly how invisible he made him feel

the answer was stark indifference, worse than hatred

For his existence, his entire experience, was of no consequence or of even a slight thought

I have screamed my lungs out into the void of a gaslighting machine that has virtually destroyed me for all intents and purposes

Yet here I am, just like Carmy

Who tells us we are invisible,

Indeed,

We are right here, bleeding

Bruising,

Crying,

Screaming, laughing, dancing, cooking and cleaning

As though the dicing of a large meal cannot destroy the essence of that individual ingredient

As though dicing a person into something that crawls, begs, dies for love

Cannot make them invisible

It made me invincible

Steps to disappear are all there in the boiling pot of human misery

But to be a wallflower is not a waste

I cannot bring myself to take away from the exquisitely precious, excruciating pain of being loved through a heavenly gift

As you feel see-through, a beautiful ghost

I can take your hand through the bloody noise of invisible

I invite you to make the invisible an invitation to the fringe of your mortality

To sink into the divine realm

That tv show really made me feel on edge, so nerve wracking and full of so many emotions

The noise cuts from the fat

Carmy, let’s go see those invisible ones with new eyes.