In The Hour When The World Goes Still
a poem for "The Sound of First Frost" challenge
The gentle breeze turns sharp and chill,
the last leaves fall like russet tears.
Autumn leans into winter,
Imperceptibly.
.
The air is crisp as fresh laundry,
seasoned with lazy melancholy.
Even my coffee tastes different
as the days grow shorter.
.
The sunsets tilt into violet,
the nights get darker and deep.
The world is fading,
Skeleton trees.
.
Nothing hides the deer now,
as the pale sunlight drifts across
the fog and the fields,
sluggishly.
.
The geese are flying south,
their wings flapping rhythmically.
If you stay still, you can hear it—
the sad song of leaving.
.
Nothing stays the same now.
Look, how the squirrels got fat!
Their bellies full with plenty
of their harvest.
.
But things are never what they seem,
The world isn't dying;
it is only going to sleep,
and everything gets rebuilt again.
About the Creator
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Standing While Falling
Quotation from Friedrich Nietzsche "He who wrestles long with monsters should beware lest he himself become a monster. And if you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss also gazes into you. Man is not destroyed by suffering, but by the meaning he makes of it."
By LUCCIAN LAYTH4 days ago in Critique
Comments (13)
I like the whole scene and it fills me with emotion. The description of the changes in nature is done in a vividly pictorial way, full of sensitivity and literary grace. I truly escaped for a little while, as I do when I read a fairy tale. Very beautiful and gentle.
Wow, this definitely give the vibes 💗
Every line felt like the slow transition of one day, captured the sensation of an entire changing season in just a one minute read. Incredible!
I love how you balance melancholy with quiet reassurance. The poem carries a soft sadness but also a deep understanding that endings are just transformations.
Such beautiful sentiments, the seasons bring out the poets in us for sure.
Beautiful imagery as always 😁 Best of luck in the challenge. Your pacing was masterful, I think. I felt a sense of everything slowing down while I read!
The line "The world isn't dying" reminds me of "The scream" by Munch for some reason, it seems like in the drawing the character feels like the world is dying, and your line is a kind of response to his feelings, disapproving them, reassuring.
I love how you have a unique way of being so descriptive. Your poems really stand out.
I felt and witnessed a gentle turn to winter here. I love how you brought life into this poem. The trees and fat little squirrels. I even saw the deer. Beautiful poetry, Imola. Not a dead winter but a breath of crisp air and renewal.
Gentle, wistful, and full of grace. I could feel the seasons turning with every stanza. That ending is perfection. 🌾
I really appreciated the visual of skeleton trees and how the deer no longer have anything to hide them. Sad, but it's reality. Beautifully penned! Bravo!
Oh I loved how the the sound of their wings flapping is the sad song of them leaving. Such a beautiful poem!
How sad, but how hopeful at the end.