In The Beginning volume 1

A little background for this edition of poetry... times were different back then; looking for love in all the wrong places. Being able to hold to the hope of being loved as much as I had hoped I was out of my head and my heart seemed to take on a mind of its own. These poems range from July 10, 2010 to Sept. 11, 2011. This is the reason for so many volumes. I hope that y'all enjoy them.

ANNOYING ANTICIPATION

Far off in the distance

I sense there's something drawing near

So many things building in my mind

Feels like panic and fear.

Yet I know just what it might be...

Caution creeping by.

Or maybe it's just my anticipation

Roaming in the sky.

CONTENTED EMPTINESS

Sweet breeze blowing past my being

My heart sighs at what it brings

A feeling of much content makes my spirit soar

The view of beauty makes me long for more

And in my mind it will be burned in my memory

And shall be dreamed about for my eternity.

LOVE FROM DIVIDED HEARTS

In my mind there is a vision;

Two lovers intertwined.

Their hearts beating;

Their bodies sweating;

Their souls soaring.

Bed sheets are rustled;

A cry in the night leaves lives shuffled.

The sweet sensations;

That combines with passion;

Stays in relaxation;

And sleep washes over me.

He is always there as though we are meant to be

But, when I wake and he's not beside me

My heart begins to quake.

I falter and begin to fall;

Knowing that one day;

I'll get through it all.

For I cannot grasp reality;

My mind still holding on

Hoping that one day it will once again be;

But, my heart beats eternal and true

Though we two are no longer one

Know I will always love you.

ONE DAY

In my mind there begins a crease;

In my soul the pain will not cease;

My heart has a problem so it seems;

The problem it walks on broken beams.

I feel like there is and emptiness inside of me;

I cannot grasp the loneliness that is to be;

It seems like only yesterday when we were together;

Just holding each other tight and loving one another.

But, now here we are alone as we stand;

With me holding out my empty hand;

We are both walking different ways;

Two paths, different worlds, separate day.

And through the sadness of it all;

It makes me happy to know our friendship survived it all;

So as I hold to our memory;

One day I hope to be able to set you free.

6 AM Peace

I close my eyes;

I see the sun rising;

My heart flies;

My soul is sighing.

I am free;

I am held by no chains;

As I soar by the trees;

And over grassy plains.

Where I intend to go;

This I must confess;

Not even I will know

As long as there's no stress.

No more fear;

No more pain;

Not even a tear;

No; not ever again.

This world exists for only a few;

Three others and I;

Something so new;

As life passes us by.

Something Nags Inside My Mind

Yes; I see you;

The archer in the night sky.

You point to what my heart wants most;

Though I don't know why.

If my heart begins

Her deep befuddled descent;

Do not try to comprehend

That of what I want.

For I look to the distant yet

Clear blue skies;

Only to let loose salty waters

From my eyes.

Dying Dreams

Scarce are my dreams of late;

Two pieces of a heart will seal my fate.

For outside there are smiles in my mind;

But, inside, tears are all you'll find.

Reality keeps me on bent knee or broken heart;

Both are there inside, both rip me apart.

People who know me will find a smile

But, they will see less spirit all the while.

My soul burns with many old desires;

Yet, I can feel no warmth from those fires.

And as I keep holding on;

I know my sanity will soon be gone.

For I long for just a little bit more;

To come walking through that door.

Yes; reality keeps me on bent knee or broken heart;

Both are there inside, both tear me apart.

Two worlds are we drifting into;

And I know there is nothing more I can do.

I've secreted my salty tears away from all;

Because I know not if I will fall.

So give unto me a strength unlike the one before;

So that I might not let my life soar.

For I am not strong nor am I the only

To feel the ache of being always lonely.

Exhaustion From Salty Tears

I've opened up my heart

To a world that refuses to hear me.

And I sit by watching lovers

As they go walking hand in hand.

Tears flow long

And exhaustion sinks in.

Slumber keeps up and

I let it be.

I flow with my world and fly with the times

Not knowing where to land.

My secret I will keep only hoping

That he knows how I feel inside.

People see my smiles

Yet; there's too much to deal with.

So I walk with the pain

Knowing that the sorrow I must always hide.

And pray that happiness and joy

Will ring out for tomorrow.

Unexpressed

Christmas nears;

My heart longs, yet, it fears;

How to be free

From the fools that I see.

Minutes pass;

And glory fades at long last;

Though there is happiness;

There is and emotion inside that I just cannot express.

No Expressions Of Joy

The angels sing

My mind cries

And my heart sinks to a great despair.

I see the lights

And feel the joy yet; I am in a state of disrepair

The time for lovers is neat at hand

A time I'd rather not see.

For the one I long for is

No longer here by my side

And neither is his love for me.