if there is a €rime
it must be me.
if there is a wound
it must be the one I carved.
if there is a villain I know her name
it is mine.
every word I spoke
now feels like poison.
every smile I gave
looks like a mask.
every kindness was a mistake
I should never have offered.
My voice—an omen’s toll.
My being—a €rime carved into time
I never meant to COMMIT.
drip
d r i p
d
r
i
p
my hands—basin of tears
holding proof of my b r e a k i n g.
tell me—
am I really so unworthy,
so cheap,
so untrustworthy?
i want to scream
but the scream remains i n s i d e
throat tightened,
lungs shut,
chest = coffin.
I wish I had never existed.
I wish these lungs never filled.
I wish this heart never beat.
I wish this skin never trapped me inside.
because it feels like
all I do is bruise others by being alive.
all I do is hurt myself by being here.
maybe the world would breathe easier
if I were gone,
erased,
dust swept under
someone else’s tomorrow.
so
I blame me.
I blame me.
I blame me.
until silence becomes the only language.
About the Creator
Komal
I write poems and stories that hit the feels.
When I’m not lost in my own plots, I’m either daydreaming about the next big idea or just winging life with a grin.
𝕀 𝕙𝕒𝕧𝕖 𝕥𝕙𝕖 ℙ𝕠𝕨𝕖𝕣 𝕥𝕠 𝕞𝕒𝕜𝕖 𝕒𝕟 𝕀𝕄ℙ𝔸ℂ𝕋
Reader insights
Outstanding
Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!
Top insights
Compelling and original writing
Creative use of language & vocab
Heartfelt and relatable
The story invoked strong personal emotions
Comments (17)
Poignant and powerful tragic and sad. Komal this one knocked me to the floor
Komal, this piece is hauntingly raw and beautifully written. The fragmentation of lines and repetition capture the suffocating weight of self-blame and despair with painful honesty.
Komal, you are so kind, and your poetry is striking. 💕
🩵
This is deep, Komal. So powerful and relevant. You are such an inspiration to me and a great writer!
An emotive catharsis that screamed to be read. These are hard poems, but they NEED to be written by those who need to write them. Thank you Komal!
This is heart wrenching, why do you think like that. You bring smile to lots of faces. Anyways, the poem so heart touching and relatable. Loved it.
This is so heartbreaking. Trust me when I say you bring light to us with your writing
This is powerfully raw and so painfully familiar
Komal, you have been blessed with a gift of love and writing...they transcend above any negativity. Know that the Vocal family is with you, my friend.
This was incredibly powerful, and I hope writing it brought even a little release. 💔
A shining beacon, as always, you kill with form and emotion. 👏🙏🖤
Komal, thank you for sharing this piece. You have inspired many people and you do make a difference. I understand that you may be writing this poem from another point of view. Please remember, you are loved by many people, friends and family. You have powerful purpose in this life! 😇💙
❤️❤️❤️ You're an inspiration to others who look forward to your writing. You create light for other people and encourage them, without thinking of yourself. We give, but we can't control how it's used or abused after that. And yes, the world IS a better place because YOU'RE in it. ❤️❤️❤️
A poem of internal heartbreak that I hope has excised some of the feelings by forcing them onto the page
Your soul exudes a singular luminance that no one else can match. Shame(blame) is what we use to smother righteous anger, which depletes us of our energy and turns the fire inward. You have an abundance of gifts, including your unique style. You are a quality wordsmith and I am honoured to be a reader in your world!
Forgive me if this is too forward but... I love you, Komal. ❤ I've been experiencing all the feelings you describe here. I'm just finally making progress in leaving them behind. I hope you know I freaking love your poetry not just for your words but for your ***unique style***. Love it, love it, love it to the extreme! Your style has influenced me!!! I always enjoy the shape of your art. This time, my favorite moment was 'chest = coffin'. No kindness is ever a mistake, even when not reciprocated. Generosity and compassion can be seen as weakness by others... but those are the people focused on material things, people who's views are challenged by someone like you. Do *not* blame yourself!!! Forgive yourself!!! Imagine this, my friend... I could have easily written this poem. These feelings are virtually identical to mine. I've cried tears to the extend of wailing at the top of my lungs. It just happened last week, as a matter of fact. I was taking a bath and as I was bawling, and feeling utterly overwhelmed by fear, with no one to lean on, and I just wanted to put my head underwater. In my grief, I really considered it. 'What's the point of me?' Except for my friends on Vocal, and my cats, I am alone. If I had written this poem, what would you say to me????????? Say that to yourself. This Too Shall Pass. Life is impermanence. Everything is always in flux. As best you can, don't think about the past. Don't worry about the future. Stay in the present moment. Listen to birds. Listen to your favorite music. Read. Write more wonderful poetry like this. When you first wake up in the morning, focus on gratitude. Even the smallest things. Thank God for what you have. Don't focus on what you lack. When you start your day with gratitude, after time, it does a great job at rinsing clean obsessive thoughts like these. I do it. I have set-backs. But I've slowly learned that if I refrain from reaching for my phone when I wake up and instead just meditate with simple conscious deep breathing, it makes a difference! Forgive this long-winded unsolicited advice. I'm better for knowing you, my friend. 🫂🫂🫂 That is REAL. Many Blessings to You. Sending Love & Light. ⚡💙 Bill⚡