Idiot

You came into my life through an app on my phone

Your videos intrigued me but you weren't the only one

You claim you practice what you preach, yet I saw a different side indeed

My heart opened to you, I spilled all the tea

When you weren't completely honest everything fell at the seams

Like a blanket being pulled by a loose string

Everything spiraled down so quickly

You never tried to be honest, said you wanted a fresh start

Something kept pulling at my heart strings showing you really did not

Wasted four months sharing plans and a future

Letting walls down only to be disappointed

Though you were different but seems your the same

Hard not to compare when you do similar things

An idiot who fell in love with a man who couldn't even pick up a phone to call

An idiot who fell in love with out being with you in person

An idiot for developing feelings

An idiot for helping financially, knowing it wasn't a place to be

All actions should have been kept for marriage in the end

Guess that wasn't in the cards, you played with my heart

As I played with your but not on purpose of course

I miss your text

I miss our talks

The distance was just becoming too hard

You didn't understand that all our conversations revolved around money

Even when you asked, "how are you doing", a transaction followed

Did you even like me?

Did we even try?

Time didn't show it, happiness unfolded

Misery has set in, why open to a man again?

Alone and heartbroken

Stupid and foolish

Left in the dust to pick up the pieces of being an idiot

I still love him but feel stupid for falling for someone who didn't really want to meet, however, I'll never know if that is true. I guess the saying is true, "Don't be an idiot".