Identity

They tell me I should be strong,

They say I should move on,

They call me a baby when I cry,

And when I'm trying,

It's never enough,

They don't like the way I dress,

They say,

My behaviour is a mess,

Don't do this,

Don't do that,

Don't be a drama queen,

Don't overreact!

They think I'm stronger than

I actually feel,

They act disgusted when I get real,

"Carol, you should do this,"

"Carol, you should do, that,"

"Carol, don't be a brat!"

I am tired of being told who to be,

If being me isn't good enough,

It's good enough for me,

In love,

They don't get me,

Or,

My sexuality,

They see me as cheating,

But I'm emotionally diverse,

Actually!

As soon as I show love to another,

They see "sex!"

Not so fast, brother!

Love is not all about one thing,

If I can't love freely,

Then I'm nothing,

Now;

Let's talk about vulnerability,

"Carol, you're oversensitive,"

"Carol, you're too soft,"

Yes;

I've had my share of pain and abuse,

That's my past, you see,

Those people were users,

They were amused by abusing me,

I swallowed it like a pill,

Let them walk me to the ground,

I got hurt when I spoke out,

That's why I took it,

Without making a sound,

If you had felt my pain,

And, seen the tears I cried in the rain;

It was a torn and twisted past,

I had kids to protect,

I struggled in vain,

Everyone has their insecurities,

I still have mine today,

I make mistakes,

I'm only human,

There isn't a human on the planet,

Who isn't flawed

In some way,

In my present,

I'm a mixture of personalities

Tough when I have to be,

Soft at heart,

But my love never goes away,

I love with all my heart,

Multiple people,

Freely,

Ferociously,

Caring,

But always without pain.

This doesn't make me a bad person,

It's what my heart needs,

When I'm showering love on others,

It's because I'm just being me,

Let's now discuss the way I dress,

And the way I style my hair;

I'm diverse in many ways;

My fashion has much flair!

I do gothic,

I am smart,

I do frumpy,

I do roady,

I do messy,

It depends on my day!

Hobbies?

I was bullied for singing too much,

In my younger days,

But my voice;

It brings me pride,

And I'm a star in training today!

They tell me that I read too much,

They can't take that away,

I'm a bookworm!

Reading gives my mind power,

And I need that today,

I'm not who you think I should be,

Is all there is left to say,

I may not be as tough,

Or as strong as you;

I may not behave,

Or believe in the way you do,

But this is who I am,

And my identity is here to stay.