I wrote this sitting on the toilet
Stream of consciousness, crapterpiece.
I wrote this while sitting on the toilet
boxers and shorts at my ankles
Okay so that part was written before sitting on the toilet
and inspired the idea of sitting on the toilet
It may not be my Odyssey or Ulysses,
my Old Man and the Sea or Moby Dick
my The Raven or Tam o' Shanter
Hell, it's not even my The Very Hungry Caterpillar
But it has purpose and it has heart
So too was that part written before taking to the throne
It is a real testimony to my commitment to my craft and authenticity, to seeing an idea through
Sat on my white porcelain throne, ideas come forth between muscle movements
I'm sat on my throne, my pedestal offering to the world the words, the prose it didn't know it needed
From my throne, with my pen and paper, empires can crumble or be built up, songs can be composed and sung, masterpieces can be scrawled and torn to pieces, ideas can blossom, bear seeds for bees to pollenate
spread them near and far o the drift of the lightest breeze or most treacherous fear-inspiring hurricane
It was misty this morning (still is, this afternoon), the kind of encroaching misty like a Stephen King misty
Where you find yourself hoping and worrying that in the thick of it are creatures or beings, perhaps sprites or humo-mite hybrids.
What do they want? Who can tell?
To break bread or raise hell and break heads?
As I sit I see the dry rot under our bath
and I wonder when the council will
book our appointment
to completely rip out
the floor beneath my feet
-
I shaved my hair yesterday
By myself, as my wife is away
It was freeing and saddening
Watching my hair
once the deepest, darkest brown
so thick and dense, fall
so frayed, thinned and
salt and pepper curls
I shaved too close I think but
my head feels amazing
and is a nice round, spherical shape
It lifts my mood slightly
Just enough
My mood of late shifts as
the waves on the sea between
storms and calm tranquillity
Warm and hopeful
then
cold and despondent
I wonder when my next true masterpiece will arrive
in my head, heart and soul
ready to be transmitted, transcribed, into the tangible from its existential beginnings
*
Thanks for reading!
Author's Notes: Self-explanatory, I believe? I hope you enjoyed this deep dive, stream.
About the Creator
Paul Stewart
Award-Winning Writer, Poet, Scottish-Italian, Subversive.
The Accidental Poet - Poetry Collection out now!
Streams and Scratches in My Mind coming soon!
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Rachel Reviews: The Spiral Archive by Pieter Hendrik
It's difficult for me to know where to start with a review of this book as it was, for me, an entirely unique experience and one that I'll probably never have again. I don't want that to be interpreted as unenjoyable but it has left me scratching my head a little and ruminating on its content, its themes and its characters.
By Rachel Deeming6 days ago in BookClub
Comments (15)
Great mix of laughs and emotion, my friend! My, the random places we are when inspiration hits! Enjoyed this :)
Very funny l9l
I laughed at the humor, sighed at the relatable shifting moods part. Wasn’t sure what to expect with the title except that knowing it’s a Paul poem that it would surprise me in some way. And it certainly did! I enjoyed it a great deal!
Omg this had me sniggering in the first half! “But it has purpose and it has heart” made ma laugh after the gags before! This was a fun read. One of your best free verse in a bit I might add.
I loved everything about this poem, Paul, and laughed out loud hard and loud (probably scared the wife). "Hell, it's not even my The Very Hungry Caterpillar," is the funniest line I have read in a long, long time. Crapterpiece is comic genius. But in the midst of mid toilet muscle spasms, your inner poet entertained and inspired. I think the chief aspect that I love about you as a poet is that you are not the least bit afraid of being raw.
Hang on, you shaved your head???
What a load of shit. Jk. That was fun, well kinda sorta shitty fun.
I'm dying laughing. Hilarious and brilliant. I love the hungry caterpillar allusion 🤣💜C
Don't forget the paperwork.
Loved this!
And so, the writing process starts in the most unexpected places. Game of thrones, indeed!
Well, that was some deep poo, pal. There are some tangents I have to avoid following in this comment... Moby Dick reference, for instance. Yeah, I think I'm gonna' skip 'em. Entertaining stuff, and thanks for holding back on some of the visuals.
This is a beautiful and honest piece. You've captured the raw and vulnerable moments of creativity, turning the mundane act of sitting on the toilet into a profound act of creation. Your exploration of themes like the passage of time, the nature of inspiration, and the human condition is both insightful and thought-provoking. You've managed to elevate the ordinary to the extraordinary, transforming a simple act into a poetic and philosophical experience. Very well done! Mr. Paul!!!
omg, this was funny. I did that as a kid. grew up in a one-bathroom apartment and always heard the pounding on the door, "What the heck are you doing in there? Writing a novel?" little did they know.
'I shaved too close'. I like this. As writers, don't we do that so very often? Perhaps too close to the core? Too close to the heart? Too close to the pain, the raw? As always- reading your work is a pleasure.