I would never call myself a victim.

I still cry about your opened arms

and the first time I jumped right into them.

You smelled like laundry detergent and safety.

Should’ve known your arms were knives

your teeth waiting to sink in

I should’ve known I was just prey

and you were just hungry.

But I still miss the way you made me feel like I was worth something.

and all I want is to climb back into your heart

through that heavy gated window you built

when you grew tired of the taste of me.

I wish I was still your breakfast.

and now I go to funerals of our love/your lust

I can’t scream at the heavens because you never died

or place roses on a grave, because innocence isn’t buried in a cemetery

and I can’t blame you

and I don’t have the right to hate you

because after all

I loved you.

You promised we were friends

but you were just an adult with a saviors complex

and I was a broken kid

but even then I knew that our days were numbered

but didn’t know it would end so soon.

Now I’m left to pick up shards of glass

my reflection yelling “fool”

because I smelled your poison

and it tasted like whipped cream and pancakes and love I never drank before.

and I blame me for the sins you committed because I still love you.

 We were a paper boat in an ocean

bound to sink

(because predators get bored)

somehow though we swam for so long

and all this time I knew

that the clock was ticking

and the clouds were brewing,

the trees were rustling,

the universe preparing to storm.

and all this time I knew

that there is no way

anyone could possibly stay

for this long.