I Wish It Was You

Every face that passes by

Every message on my phone

Every memory that floods in

The tears that fall on my pillow and stain my red sheets

The ache in my heart

I call for you

I long for you

I still love you

Oh how I wish I could be with you.

Late night drives

Long conversations

Date nights on a whim

Secrets shared in the dead of night as the world sleeps around us

Every desire and fear shared later to be used against each other

Hearts given to each other on silver platters

Oh how I long for our time together once again.

Every time the phone rings

Or a song plays on the radio

My heart calls for you but you do not answer

My dreams and head filled with thoughts and hopes of your return

Friends and family telling me I'm better off without you

But I know...

I was my best self when I was with you.

Locked away in an imaginary closet we stayed

For your fear of the world around us was too much to bare.

Words of love and true emotions turned cold in the company of others

Words sunk into my heart like a jagged blade, cutting deeper with each rejection of our love

Endless nights of doubting myself and trying to be perfect for you.

From walking on egg shells and choosing my words carefully

To walking away and choosing myself and peace of mind over love and torment.

Sadness fills my eyes as I write this,

Begging in my heart for you to come back to me

Even though you are no good for me

Without you I feel lost

I feel empty

My bed is cold

My body is numb

And my head is swirling back and forth with mixed feelings of my devotion to you.

Oh how I wish it was you still next to me,

Oh how I wish it was you!

THE END.