I Will Test the Ultimate Limit of Endurance

• I will test the ultimate limit of endurance myself,

With my own hands, I will adorn his bride.

• Entrusting him to the hands of light,

I will return to the darkness of my own home.

• He will not even understand the intimacy of the body,

I will weep in my heart but smile with my eyes.

• The moment he left, all the joys of companionship vanished,

Who will I quarrel with now, whom will I reconcile with?

• Not even an unnamed bond remains between us,

Yet, I will still bow my head to his slightest gestures.

• In my ears, the heavy breaths of dense forests echo,

Yet, I will still be unable to hear your voice.

• He was searching for a reason for a new love,

He said—one day, I will forget him.

Parveen Shakir’s poetry is known for its deep emotions, delicate expressions of love, pain, and the struggles of a woman’s heart. This poem explores themes of heartbreak, sacrifice, and silent suffering. The poet speaks about enduring the pain of letting go, accepting loss, and maintaining composure despite deep sorrow.

1. Testing the Limits of Patience

The poet begins by stating that she will test the ultimate limit of her endurance.

Despite her pain, she will personally adorn the bride of the man she loves.

This signifies a selfless sacrifice—choosing to embrace her sorrow while ensuring his happiness.

2. Accepting the Darkness of Separation

She metaphorically describes giving him to the “hands of light,” which represents a new life, possibly with another woman.

In contrast, she sees her own fate as returning to “darkness,” symbolizing loneliness, heartbreak, and grief.

This contrast emphasizes the depth of her emotional suffering.

3. Hiding Pain Behind a Smile

She states that her beloved will never realize how deeply she loved him, as he won’t understand the “intimacy of the body.”

While her heart will be filled with silent sorrow, she will outwardly smile, masking her pain.

This reflects the reality of many unspoken, unexpressed emotions in love.

4. The Loss of Companionship

His departure has taken away all the joys of their companionship.

She wonders who she will now have arguments with and who she will reconcile with—highlighting how love involves both happiness and small conflicts that bring people closer.

This line conveys the emptiness she feels in his absence.

5. A Bond That No Longer Exists

Even though there is no longer a relationship between them, not even an unnamed connection, she still feels bound to him.

Despite everything, she will continue to bow to his slightest gestures, indicating the power of love that refuses to fade.

This represents a painful attachment—she knows she has no place in his life, yet she still respects and loves him.

6. Deaf to His Voice, Lost in the Pain

She describes hearing the “heavy breaths of dense forests,” possibly symbolizing an overwhelming silence or emotional burden.

Even if he speaks, she will be unable to hear his voice, implying that their connection has faded, or perhaps she chooses not to respond anymore.

7. His Justification for Moving On

The last lines reveal that he was looking for an excuse to love someone else.

He justifies his new love by saying that she will eventually forget him.

This line conveys betrayal and disappointment—while he assumes she will move on, she knows that forgetting him is impossible.

Conclusion

This poem portrays a woman’s silent suffering and resilience. She does not fight for her love but instead accepts her pain with dignity. It highlights themes of emotional endurance, unreciprocated love, and the struggles of moving on while still being deeply attached. Through simple yet powerful imagery, Parveen Shakir expresses the depth of heartbreak in a way that resonates deeply with anyone who has experienced loss in love.