I Will Never Be That Woman

I will never be the woman

who gets her nails done every ten days.

My hands are workers’ hands-

built for movement,

flexibility,

precision.

I will never wear stilettos,

pumps, or Jimmy Choos.

I move slowly,

placing each step with intention,

so it can hold my weight

and the weight I choose to bear

for others.

I will never paint my face

well enough

to draw the gaze of strangers

with symmetry and shine.

My emotions live in my expressions.

They shift too often

to ever stay still.

I will never glide across stages,

cheered for my form,

showered in praise

like a prize.

I’ve spent my life

trekking through the brush of empathy-

clearing trauma like overgrowth,

with nothing but this body

and my mind.

I will never be

the Most Interesting Person in the Room.

There are no flashbulbs for women like me.

But I receive the room-

every crack, every shadow.

My mind is built to absorb,

my heart tuned to find

the ones holding pain.

And I am content

to hold the wall-

knowing the power it takes

to carry the structure

that holds all their joy.

I Will Never Be That Woman” is one of many pieces in Empire of the Unchosen- a poetic memoir in fragments. Each poem is a selection from the larger emotional architecture of a life lived out loud. More pieces coming soon.