I Will Dream Again

Where did my dreams go?

Did they leave with that manic episode?

I’ve had them for so long maybe they’ve just out grown me

They used to control me but now my ambition is lonely and my vision is blurry

Cant see where my motivation is currently

Are they gone forever?

Seems to be that way

This is the longest I’ve ever stayed in this state

I shouldn’t complain it makes me stable

But shits not the same, I don’t feel able to express myself anymore

I left myself bleeding on the bathroom floor

My thoughts are reeling but I’m a constant bore

I don’t feel anything in me anymore

Is this growing up? I can’t be sure

Focused on stuff that only money can cure

Where did my dreams go?

This is torture

Without them, what am I though?

Society’s puppet?

It’s like all of a sudden

All I was left with was “what if’s”

What if I never move out of my moms

What if I can never do things on my own

What if I can’t prove them all wrong

What if my dreams were wrong all along?

Why did I give up?

Why did I give in?

I didn’t feel like enough to commit to what could have been

Picture people laughing at me like

“Oh my god when will she face reality?”

But I don’t know if I can

Don’t want people to feel bad for me

Can’t let your pity win

But how do did my dreams just come out of me?

Can I pull them back in?

I need to try

Without my dreams, I’m a lie

And it may seem like I’m doing fine

In fact I probably manifest that I’m doing my best

But really I’m more than upset

I’m numb to the life we have to live

I don’t think it’s right

Dreams, where have you been?

You’re worth the fight

Let me cave in

I shouldn’t have to say goodbye to everything I am

To fit inside their one way scam

I will find my dreams again and let their judgement go

I will make sure to hold them even more so

I don’t even care if I have to do this alone

I will become what I’ve wanted all along