I Will Choose Loneliness

The thing is,

Inconsolable Loneliness,

and

Screaming Grief,

are both monsters

I am familiar with.

We’re practically old friends,

if you can be friends with such beasts.

I’ve spent years

with Loneliness

on my back,

in my chest,

filling my life with,

whispering and moaning

all through the night.

I’ve spent years

with Grief

clawing at my insides,

tearing the world apart,

right before my eyes.

So,

given the choice

to invite one in

instead of the other,

I will always welcome

Loneliness.

She hurts,

and she howls,

and she keeps me awake at night.

But it is

a bargain

compared to what

precedes Grief.