I Thought

I thought you were my answered prayer

A blessing that I thanked God for so many times

Because I had asked him for happiness

I asked him to send me the love that I was struggling to give to myself

And then like the whirlwind of butterflies you put in my stomach

Its like you flew to me

From 301.5 miles away

I knew us crossing paths could not have been an accident

Because accidents dont plant roots and bloom into something so beautiful

I thought we were beautiful...

Just like when sun meets set

When the sky meets the stars

The first love story you ever learn is that

God took a piece of Adam to form Eve

They were two halves of a whole

Made for each other

And I thought we were like them

I thought you were my missing rib

Because when you held me I felt my body mold into yours

Your breath on my neck became my blanket of warmth

The first time I laid my head on your chest

I could hear the thud of your heartbeat

The fast pumping matched my own

As if our hearts held hands and decided to race together

When you put ur lips to mine the world disappeared

It would melt away turning into puddles underneath us

Maybe thats why it always felt like we were floating above it all

But I thought our connection ran deeper than skin

Because my soul became intimate with you long before we did

I opened the door for you to my mind

And left the key to my heart underneath its doormat

hoping you’d find it

I thought you’d want to.

I thought the only pain you’d ever give me were cheek cramps from smiling so much.

I prayed for your successes as if they were my own

Because your happiness became mine

But then you decided to leave.

You discarded me

Like a used toy that’s lost its magic appeal

Was it because I finally gave you my magic?

Was that my only appeal?

I watched the burning desire for me dim out in your eyes

Ive been given that dull look

I never thought you’d have it

Ive been hurt before and you knew that

So this hurt me the most

Because i never expected it from you

The person I explained my hurt too

You made my heart weep

Filling my body to its brim

Until it had no choice but to leak from my eyes

You were a beautiful rose that I clung to

But I ignored the thorns that pierced me

Turns out you weren’t my Adam

You were the snake whispering glorious lies into my ear

You made me believe in a reality with you that wasn’t meant for me

You told me your future and just used me as a placeholder..

I admit to my own faults

I fell too fast and too hard you

I clung onto you like you were a life line

I made myself believe I couldn’t sleep without hearing your loud snores

Because they became my lullaby

When you told me to step back so you could get a chance to breathe

All I could think about is how I wanted to be your air

I thought you were my answered prayer

But you were just a lesson

Because when you told me you loved me

I thought you meant it

I thought wrong.