i think i l*** you

i think i l*** you

god i hate it because i’ll say i don’t miss you

but i wish i could have your hand to hold when the world is cold and

your eyes to look in when i get bored

and you to think of when i sing pretty love songs

when you were mine you were the object of my imagination

when i thought of all the things we could do

but you are still the f***ing object of my imagination

i still get drunk on something styrofoam

I would make AI generated polaroids of you

To fold to my indulgences

I put myself in your path but turn away my face as if I don't care

I see the receding shape of your back

That I stare at because I know you can see

I watch you walk past the place I usually stand and take satisfaction in the way you look three times

I wish you would look at me the same

I wish I had begged harder

and now I’m mourning the place for you in my heart

I want it to lie there waiting

I don’t want it to fill up time

I want to write poems that show how intense I feel even by a reader who isn’t

perceiving the emotions elevated by the proximity of the situation.

*ur so pretty - Song by Wasia Project

This is part of the book I wrote, which was, at first, a documentation of moving on. I noticed the way the intensity of my emotions tapered off, hence its name:

It underwent tons of editing and careful sequencing. It would be cool if you checked it out with the above link! That would motivate me to publish this :)

Thank you, have a great day!