I Stare at Color

I stare at a blanket of white

Titanium white, opaque white, thick white.

My tongue thick and heavy in my mouth, unmoving and dry

Rough to the touch, not enough to cut into my skin

More like sandpaper, my fears are spry

Alarmingly absent of color, lines, and form within.

I stare at a blanket of white

Titanium white, opaque white, thick white.

Many judge this canvas and state words like unfinished, blank, nothingness

How can I not agree, am I not about to destroy this white blanket

Creating a whole other world filled with color and richness

I set down my paint water, I almost drank it.

I stare at a blanket of white

Titanium white, opaque white, thick white.

I pick up a pencil at this point I am not picky

The ideas in my head dancing and flowing

A sketch, barely visible, my palms a tad sticky

Darker lines are forming, my confidence growing.

I stare at gray textures

Payne’s gray, see-through gray, light gray.

I can clearly see my vision but am pro enough to know it will not last

Youth use to bring false certainty at the start

Vermillion anger now a memory a feeling of the past

This vision of beauty taking form as art.

I stare at gray textures

Payne’s gray, see-through gray, light gray.

Picking up a tube of Winsor & Newton

Turning it over and over, before unscrewing the cap

I glance over the title, mentally I read -Alizarin Crimson

My colors of oil filling in the gap.

I stare at color, colors from my soul

Naples Yellow, Alizarin Crimson, Prussian Blue, and Olive Green.

Mixing and applying paint in quick motions

Human form, flora and fauna

Surrealism mixed with emotions

Working through love, experiences, and trauma.

I stare at color, colors from my soul

Naples Yellow, Alizarin Crimson, Prussian Blue, and Olive Green.

Dipping my synthetic brush into odorless turpentine

I create the world that has built my soul

Complete and utter concentration, detail so fine

Sharing with others, my creation, the ultimate goal.