I See Blue.

Blue is the color of the sky,

My favorite shade,

As the whole world opens up before me:

College degree

Horse under me.

New Freedom and possibilities surround me

Hair in the wind

I throw back my head in glee.

Blue is all I see

As stars erupt in my eyes

And pain through my body

Blue

And then nothing

As the sound of hooves fade

Across the bright blue river.

Blue is what the surgeon wears

As he tells me

I might not survive

White blue lights shine overhead

Blinding me

As a man whispers

Count backwards from five.

5...

4...

3...

2...

...blue...

The walls are barren

As machines whirl and beep

My gown is blue

As I struggle through the tangled cords and lines.

Everything is so stark

The walls I stare at

Day by day

Month by month,

I cover them in blue horses.

Stealing tape from nurses who pretend

Not to notice as they keep extra

In their blue uniform pockets.

Blue is how I feel when my husband yells at me

For medical bills

I could not help

And I hate that I survived.

Blue. So blue.

As my mother wheels me out to the mountains

Rejuvenating fresh air

And I see my horses

Grazing under

That endless blue sky

Lifting my spirits.

Blue is the color of my mother's dress

As she is tucked

So peacefully

Into her coffin.

I could not understand why

The sky shone so

Blue and bright

As I watched two men

Hide my mother away forever.

The days turned blue.

The nights turned blue.

My thoughts,

The world,

All

Blue.

My husband wore blue

As he walked away

Shadows of our life

Lost in the fabric

As I watched his back

Shrink further and further away.

Blue, so much Blue

As the knife reflects the sky

In the middle of the forest

Glinting

Shining against my skin

But something blue underfoot

Catches my eye

Stooping down

Letting the knife clatter away

A blue stone

Shaped like a heart

Beams up at me

And suddenly

My world is no longer blue;

For it is the first day of spring.