I Miss My Sleep

In my heart, I know

That I'm not where I want to be.

Maybe I'm where I need to be

But that might not be good enough.

I cannot lie to myself.

Though I do deceive quite often,

I know I lead myself to the grave with no signs of stopping.

I let lusts lie snugly with me at night

Like a pillow petting my desires

To comfort my unsound sleep

Yet still, the creeping desire will not expire

And I'm trapped in a fire that I lit myself.

It's not good for man to be alone.

Especially this one who has gone

From phone to computer to bow before a throne of lies

Knowing that there's a pain inside that will not be remedied through mere intention.

There's already a battle of contention and did I mention the suspension of trust that would do away with this mess almost entirely?

Yet instead of feeding my faith I buyback into the lie,

And I'm all the weaker without Him.