I'm Still Not A-sleeping

I get into my bed, intending

To rest my head,

But my bed hates me,

So I get up instead;

The clock ticks away,

But my eyes are wide awake,

They say, "No, Go Away,

The day is here to stay!

So I jump up sleepy-eyed,

Dreaming away of lullabies,

But my eyes are a-peeping,

Though it's time for sleeping!

I make myself some tea,

But now it's time to pee,

The toilet says, "Piss off!"

Then it laughs at me.

I'm now awake and dreaming,

While the world is a-sleeping;

My mind is now hallucinating

That my kids are a-waking!

Finally my eyes are shutting,

But now the car-horns are beeping,

It's the middle of the bloody night,

And I'm still not a-sleeping!