i’m sorry i made you my favorite person

no one asks to be taught these hard lessons

and i know i should use a little more discretion

but i am so terrible at setting intentions

so when you caught on to my wicked games

all the ways i have to battle my own brain

i stopped waiting for something to matter in all the things you say

i stopped letting you make me weak in the knees

i stopped waiting for all the parting words you’d never speak

you waste no time in making your transgressions

unless it’s to ensure i am kept, for your possession

and when i asked you what i meant to you

i wish i could’ve been less aggressive

in my delivery

all i ever wanted to say, is you are and always will be

my favorite person

but isn’t that just another thing you expect someone with a disordered personality

to say?

even so, for you, i am willing to wait

when im all better

i promise i am not going to pull at my own sutures

and pretend i don’t deserve you because you are so much wiser

until then i will keep writing you love letters

even if i find myself starting to feel hate

i know that it will be just another intense emotion i learnt to anticipate

cycles that come as no surprise

we can go beyond both our lines

into the past, present, future

to eternity’s gate.

-g.m.t.