I'm fine

Dear OCD,

You break me.

Daily

You rip out my heart, stomp on it, shove it back into my chest and tell me to walk.

You’re one to talk.

Bully.

No-one will ever understand you fully.

You are a thief.

Robbing me of my peace.

Because of you, I have lost so much joy, excitement, anticipation.

And you take more without hesitation.

You cut to the bone.

Tell me I’m alone.

You can’t be arrested for what you have done.

But I will shout your name until you are gone.

To help others in the fight

With the monster out of sight.

You deserve hell yet you give it instead,

I hope to God that one day you’re dead.

A new day, fresh start.

If only this were true.

Each morning I wake,

I fear my first moments with you.

You are my wake-up call, my bedtime story,

My constant companion and my accusatory.

You choose my meals, pick my clothes,

Wash my hair and choose my woes.

Every day you find something new to torture me with.

To say you are harmless is a crippling myth.

I fight you daily and often you win.

A boxing match that is fought within.

The rounds keep going and the game never ends.

Each round a new battle and on me you descend.

They have no idea what a fight it is.

To keep standing,

Keep breathing,

Keep walking,

Keep talking.

NO IDEA.

‘I’m a bit OCD’ they say.

In a quirky sort of way.

That breaks my heart to hear.

They don’t understand the fear.

The hurt

Shame

Guilt

Pain.

It is not about being a neat freak.

Or wanting to be unique.

You are an abuser, a soul breaker,

A hypocrite, a prison maker.

You’re a curse, not a quirk.

Everything’s Fine

Everything’s Fine

Everything’s Fine

Say it one more time.

Now everything’s fine.

Or maybe one more

Just to be sure.

Dear OCD,

You break me.

Daily.

Sincerely,

Your Latest Opponent