I Locked Eyes Upon You, From Across The Room

I locked eyes upon you from across the room

Then I blinked and you asked me to dance

I didn’t respond, was just keeping my cool

Or perhaps I was lost in a trance

*

You took my hand, led me onto to the floor

Where we swayed close together for hours

The scent of your cologne thrilling my senses

Like a basket of freshly picked flowers

*

Our first night together, I knew it was heaven

Intoxicating as a fine wine

Deep binding passion flowing between us

As sweet as the fruit off the vine

*

You proposed to me three months after we met

I jumped in your arms and screamed yes

Our beautiful wedding, the following summer

Was in a garden with family and guests

*

Now twenty years later, we still share a life

Three children, a cat and two dogs

Through good times and bad, we’ve stuck together

Like prickly old bumps on a log

Now when I look back at that night when met

I wonder what the hell was I was thinking

The only explanation that makes any sense

Is the shitload of booze I was drinking

*

That eve when I saw you and gazed in your eyes

I knew that you’d be my whole world

But now I can see after all of these years

That you really are just a bloody turd

*

But don’t worry sweetheart, I never will leave you

Those vows we both promised, I’ll keep

Cause I’m far too lazy to get out of bed

And smother you there in your sleep

*

Nah, I’m just kidding, you know I won’t hurt you

As we’re lying together in bed

But if you keep snoring, you will feel my slipper

Upside of your miserable head

*

So quit sawing logs and shut your fat mouth

Or I’ll stuff a fat pillow inside

Tomorrow we celebrate twenty long years

Since you tricked me into becoming your bride